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stormy day
2002-10-27
storms. hate them. some people say they're very romantic and all. i seem to miss that side of them each time. to me, they're just awful. not even scary. they're just loud and they make the trees look like they're gonna fall onto your car any moment. we get loads of storms here a year. it's especially bad here because we live so close to the river with just open space in between so we get the full load. it's (probably) not like real hurricanes or whatever. but that only makes it worse. yeah, so it does sound perverse but if you happen to get into a real hurricane and your roof flies away, at least people know what you don't like about it. when i say i don't like storms, they only give me the romance-stuff. probably they've never been in a storm. even if you're inside the house, it's nothing like the lovely telly-scenes. you don't sit near the fire cuddling up to each other or anything. you can't even hear the tv unless you turn the volume up. so, no, i just don't like them.
another but thing are those daylight saving things. i got up way too early today. to do...nothing. well, it's a sunday and even if i decided to make anything of the day, i couldn't be arsed to go out into the storm. instead, our stupid neighbour annoyed me by ringing the bell and asking for some kind of seasonings my mom didn't have anyway. it wouldn't be so bad but she's the neighbour i like least. well, she and her family. basically the whole week they fight and shout and bang the doors and cry in front of our doors and everyone (which means the whole street) knows about their problems. and it really annoys me how they're just so noisy all the time. but when you meet them in the street or something, they pretend that nothing ever happened. especially the woman uses that awful sesame street kind of tone with everyone that makes you think she was the sweetest little creature around. she's know come to think i'm a bitch with bad manners because i never say a single nice word to her. i don't even say "hello" anymore. i just think the whole thing is pathetic and it actually makes me blush when i meet them. i don't expect much. i mean, they could at least show that they're embarrassed. or, after an especially bad night, when they've kept us up til 3am, they could apologize or something. it's come so far that people actually say stuff like "oh, i wish they're finally kill each other" when they've started it again. and i doubt they don't know anything about it. it would just annoy me so much if people thought like that about me...
ah, but then again...ignore me for a while. i am generally frustrated because i was denied my first chance to get some qualifications to go to england WITH my job later. we had to take this english test and we were told that the two or three best ones would be able to participate in a project that kinda works for international apprenticeships and workers and everything and there's so much more to it...i really don't feel like listing it all up here now. so, anyway, my results were the best of all three groups. i got to stage 9 which was the highest rating. and in the end, they made a price drawing competition out of it and my name wasn't drawn. it just pisses me off because the world shouldn't be giving you chances just for the sake of it. if you're not good enough, so be it. noone offers me a place at university to study whatever i want just because i deserve to get a chance, either. i'm not trying to sound vain or whatever. i am not saying my english is the best in the world. i am just talking about the facts here. i really wanted to do this and it's disappointing to see that the company i work for has such a rubbish attitude towards its workers.
anyway, i decided to make something useful of today and clean the hamsters' cage and my room and wash my hair and all. and because i feel slightly motivated now, i shall do so before i zone out in front of the tv again..."knight rider"'s on, you know...
placebo - black-eyed