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this can't be it, can it?
2003-08-25
i think i'm in love. with windows xp. now i know what i wanted all the time. colourful stuff on my screen, funny noises...all that playful stuff. amazing!
also, we finally put up my ikea stuff. mammut makes a lovely home for my tv/dvd/vcr/other shit and lack makes the room look even more colourful. only the magazine holder (whose name i forgot) didn't get put up yet but that's ok.
i had a really good talk with maja today. or at least i thought it was good. which was surprising as i had the feeling that it looked like we were heading right towards a major fight again.
work is getting weirder and weirder. i really can't say i hate it. people there are too nice and today i actually even had a bit of a talk with the nicest co-worker there. but the work is just so boring. i spent hours staring holes into the air and doing nothing. i don't want to write mails all the time or surf around as i don't want them to think i don't care. on the other hand i do ask for work quite often and most of the time they can't give me anything. so i shouldn't feel bad about doing other things but still...
sorry for jumping through the topics like a lunatic but i haven't really made up my mind about how to feel about anything and there's not much i could say about anything except the superficial facts. i don't even feel like thinking about anything. i just want this superficialty(sp?) to carry me through this week and then there'll be the weekend and finally placebo again and AFI and then i'll have three (well, two, since monday is my mum's birthday and i think we'll have people over and all) days to think if i still feel the need to do so then. maybe maja and i will talk a bit and i'll figure out things then, too. i don't know. i seriously and honestly just want to enjoy myself and the music and the atmosphere this weekend and i hope i'll be able to relax enough to do so.
but to be honest...i am generally way to burnt out to fight at the moment. i'm feeling a sort of emptiness again and i guess it's because of the boredom my work causes. so even if i do feel mad at someone and i actually want to fight i can't come up with the strength to do so. which is probably very healthy for most of the friendships i have.
eskobar - tell me i'm wrong