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jesus doesn't love you, motherfucker
2002-03-22
being misunderstood sucks! i mean, what is it about me that people seem to misunderstand all the time? i just say normal things everyone says about 5 times a day and people think i am insulting them. or i write simple things in texts/chats and people think i mean it in an offending way. i mean, goddammit, when will they learn that it is part of written messages that you can't pronounce things and use different tones for it and actually put any feelings into it? i am already using a lot of smilies but i can't actually invent a new language which only uses smilies. they actually have to use their brain an ickle bit to consider if maybe i didn't mean it they way they're getting it. there are always different ways to say things and in about 90% of all cases i don't mean it in a bad way. and all i'm expecting them to do is to bloody think a bit before they start an argument with me. if they cannot do that, they maybe should just stop contacting me in a written way (texts, mails, chats) and call me each time they need to talk to me. cos i'm really sick of these kinda discussions. each time i'm the arsehole, tho i haven't done anything. and this counts for EVERYONE i know. basically all of them have done it, already, and i can't take it anymore.
stay beautiful!
other than that, i need new friends. or...not new friends but more. or not even more, but i need some in my area. today, maja and i found out that she won't be able to come here to see the calling with me. that basically means i won't go, either. because i have noone to go with. i don't have THAT many friends in my area, anyway. and those i have just don't share my taste in music. usually, that's perfectly fine but when i look at the amazing number of concerts i haven't been to because i had noone to go with, it really pisses me off. i could go alone, yeah, but that sucks. not necessarily being alone AT the concert. but no matter when you arrive, there are always waiting times. before the gig, after the support act...you know. and standing there alone just sucks. and who guarantees me that i'll find someone nice to talk to? maybe the calling fans are complete arseholes. maybe i won't even want to talk to them. who knows? and just meeting up with someone i meet on the net would suck, too. i've done that once. meeting up with someone to go to a gig, i mean. it was weird. we'd only been talking for about a month before and tho it was a cebo gig, it really felt weird. i was afraid of freaking out because she wasn't, either. so we didn't even try to get to the front. damn! and i don't have more time before the the calling gig, either. so i won't have time to really get to know someone. i even thought about just dragging someone along, like sabrina or maybe even jenny. or just calling an old 'friend' whom i haven't seen for ages going like 'hey, we haven't talked for months and i know it's not your music and i know you don't even know them, either, but hey, you're coming to a gig with me' 
man, wouldn't that suck just so much? imagine getting a call from someone you haven't seen in ages and then being dragged along to a gig of someone you don't like/know.
well, i could still make my mom go with me. if i really get the apprenticeship and i'm getting the letter soon, i might demand kinda little...err...treat from her. but i think she doesn't like them. tho it should be her kinda music. not to loud, not too wild...just nice. but then again, i thought she must like travis but she hates them. she said fran only whines. but she said she likes the manics, whom i thought she'd hate. so you never know with this woman. but then again, it's not about whom she likes. she HAS to go there with me. it's not for her entertainment but for mine.
oh well, at least, i went shopping today. i wanted to buy darren hayes' album because it's available anywhere but here. so i wanted to buy the import at hmv but they didn't have it. so i ordered it and they'll call me soon. 
and then my mom said we'd get 23% discount on everything we buy at kaufhof. and they have LOADS of hello kitty stuff. so i went there and bought two new stationary sets (i have about 6 or 7 now - i feel an addiction coming my way), a writing pad and stickers. it's all so pretty! 
ok, that's all i wanted you to know for now.
:::liebling:::
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