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sometimes i just snap!
2004-08-19
i'm so angry i'm actually crying. i can't remember the last time i cried out of anger. i cry a lot these days. because i'm sad/disappointed/depressed/touched. but hardly because i'm angry. right now, however, i just wish the whole world would go to hell. for a few days now, there was a news item on placeboworld saying tomorrow they would announce something big. so, of course, i got my hopes up. it seemed a lot like they'd announce a tour. so, i was nearly peeing myself when i saw a mail from "placebo" in my inbox today already. but they only announced ONE bloody gig and it's in london. now, that wouldn't be the biggest problem but it's in november. on a friday. and on the weekend before my big written english exam. also, i just won't be able to afford this as i'm going to london at the end of november already (no chance of cancelling) and i have loads of things to spend money on before that. for fuck's sake, is it too much to ask for them to play ONE fucking gig here, too? i mean, they're releasing the stupid best of here, too, so why can't they "celebrate" its release here? why are we always expected to just spend our money on them without ever getting the real good stuff?
wow, that totally dragged me down now. i was actually in quite a decent mood. i met up with annette today to plan our project for school. neither of us was really in the mood, so we only decided on the agenda and split up the different topics, so now each of us writes a bit about her topics and presents them at school. we couldn't have done much right there and then anyway as one book and some prints from the company's intranet give you limited resources of information and starbucks doesn't have internet PC's, so yeah...but we got further than we thought as we actually figured out which laws we need to find the needed information. oh well...i was planning to get a bit of it done tonight but now i just feel like curling up in bed for the rest of the night and possibly the bigger part of tomorrow. luckily, i needn't work tomorrow. i'd probably end up slitting my wrists there. working at the new place has become kinda depressing as now both my "co-workers" are there and we don't get along too well. not at all, actually. we just kind of...tolerate each other's existence. they're typical german men. one's around 50, the other probably around 40. they're constantly talking about football and beer and one of them is a real asshole. i want to punch him all the time. today, he called in at some hotline to complain about his washing machine or something (he talks so loud, you HAVE to hear everything he's saying) and the person on the other end said, they'd have to check something with another department or so. he then demanded to speak to said department himself but the other person said they wouldn't give him the number, so he went all like "you know i work for [insert name of our company here], when i want to know the number of that department, i WILL get it." then he did get it (dunno whether the person gave in or he really got it elsewhere) and was talking like a total prick to the person from said department like "your colleage, [insert name of colleage], refused to give me your number but see, *I* got it anyway." blah. i *hate* people like that. and a minute or so later the secretary called him because she was a bit confused about his vacation and all. obviously, they confused each other a bit...just completely human misunderstanding, i suppose. but he just snapped at her, hung up and totally freaked out yelling how much of a cunt she was and stuff. he's a total prick! after a while, i just got my ipod out (yes, it finally arrived!) and turned it on very very loud. until then, i thought it might come across rude if i blocked them out. but then, i didn't care at all. they're ignoring me all the time anyway. it's like we're in two different rooms but the walls are transparent or something. i can't wait to get out of there.
i'm so fucking disappointed. one thing i've always loved about placebo was that they've always been...kind of high quality stuff. they never released anything that wasn't worth the money, they've always toured a lot and kept a close contact to the fans. because that's what makes a band. they write and play music and fans listen. there's an inevitable connection between bands and fans. a lot of artists and record companies seem to forget that these days and now it seems placebo have become one of "them". they've released a fucking re-release of their own album with a rather cheap second CD with b-sides that most fans owned already anyway, their singles have become a joke with mostly useless b-sides and wannabe-cool DVD features that could as well have been filmed in someone's kitchen, now they're releasing a best of. best of's are the biggest rip-offs ever, especially when you also put new songs on there (like placebo are doing now). usually, best of's are for people who "kinda like some stuff", so they get all the singles. but by also putting new stuff on there, they're more or less "forcing" their stuff on fans, too. i know it's become a common thing but...placebo just never used to do that. and now they're also "too good" to go on a proper tour (even if it was a small 1 gig per country-one) and just play a huge arena gig in london. for the first time in my life i actually feel like using the word "sellouts" and i hate the fact that it has to be my fave band i have to use it for.
i was so looking forward to it. i know you shouldn't get so excited about something you're only hoping for but i was really 100% sure that i'd at least get to see them some time soon. it was the only reason i ended up not going to the hurricane festival. and now it looks like the next time i *might* get a chance to see them again will be in 2006. :(
apparently, the dickhead dude applied for another job somewhere. i hope he won't get it and then his current boss will find out about his behaviour and then he'll lose this job as well. wow, am i not nice?
also, i am working like an idiot to get my stupid 998 thingies booked and they're playing fucking yeti sports!!! couldn't they be nice and offer to maybe take some work from me? i mean, it *is* their work i am doing because apparently, they're too busy. ha fucking ha!
courtney love - mono