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weird people in strange surroundings
2004-09-15
i'm kinda down today. no, actually, i've only been down for the past 30 minutes or so which sucks because i don't know why. and i know from similar experiences that this is never a good sign. i just hope i won't fall back into depression again.
i'm also starting to feel really insecure again and i hate how this makes me jealous and bitchy. like, today at school i couldn't help but wonder why annette would always turn to melanie or alex if she had a question. and later, i even felt the need to ask maja whether it's really really ok for me to come to munich next month, and even after she said it was, i'm still feeling unsure about it because i can't help but feel i'm bothering everyone around me. i hate this and i thought it was getting better but now it feels like i've taken a huge step back again.
the good thing is that i got the sims 2 today. this also gives me the perfect excuse for not having much of a social life at the moment as saying "i'm sorry, i don't want to talk to you because i'm feeling like a worthless piece of shit" might make people feel slightly awkward. not that saying "sorry, but i have to feed my addiction" was much better but at least it isn't too revealing.
we went grocery shopping today and met our neighbours. it was weird. because i've never seen them anywhere outside the house. i mean, i know they go out sometimes. they probably do the same kinda things as us, i've just never seen them. you get so used to seeing people do certain things and be in certain surroundings that seeing them somewhere else totally surprises you. like...i hate doing free time things with people from work (except annette but she's my friend, so yeah...). because usually, you only see them do work-related things. they're dressed for work, they behave like people do at work. seeing them in town seems weird.
and our neighbours probably think i'm a freak, now. ok, they did that before already but i'm sure it's worse now. because i stared at them in disbelief while thinking about all this. oh well...
donots - worlds collide