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death
2002-08-04
uh oh! scary or not...it's finally got me, too. i've fallen for the whole kylie minogue thing. i really love her new song and i reckoned her other ones weren't all that bad, either. oh well...somehow i knew it would get to me sooner or later as it got most people already. *lmao*
aaaanyway...i called mariam today and somehow we got to the topic of diary templates and blabla and at some point mariam said i should for once create a really colourful template. so, i did precisely that. i'm almost scared of showing the world the final product but what the hell...here it is... it's not meant to be taken serious or anything. i just did what mariam told me and it's kinda for a laugh. i might work on it a little more and put it on maja's and my site once it's finished with one of those "and this was the awful colour-thing i once made because mariam told me so" or so notes. just for the world to point at me and laugh. hehe.
yeeeeeeeeeeey. the donots are on telly!!!
ps: i decided to buy a gameboy advance on monday. so i won't die of boredom on that silly trip in september. :D
so, what did i do today, then? well, nothing. my grandma had to go back into hospital and, as much as i hate to admit it, this time i'm really worried. i think i mentioned before that she spents an ridiculously high amount of time in hospital, so it's more routine now. but this time the doctors just don't know what it is. therefore they have no clue what to do. and my grandma is so sick of it that i doubt she'll go out of her way to be strong and get through it. i dunno, but sometimes i wonder if it isn't a bit selfish of us to always force her to keep going. she's mentiones a few times that she doesn't really want to go on like that and each time someone calls an ambulance she begs for them to let her stay home. sometimes i wonder if we actually help her to survive if we really care about her or if it's just us not wanting to let go...
i'd never talk about that to my mom, though. it's just a topic we don't talk about. death is just...i dunno...too much to discuss for them. for me, it's just what comes inevitably at the end of everyone's life. for them it's that big deal you just can't talk about. which is stupid. i mean, it's not like it was something you could get away from. you can ignore subjects like homosexuality or war if you don't want to think about it. (i should add that those two subjects aren't comparable. they just come in my mind when i was trying to think of subjects ignorant people don't like to discuss.) you can ban it entirely from your life. but not death. yet, noone ever touches the subject. everyone has an opinion on everything and they don't hesitate to tell everyone. if it actually affects them or not. death is the only thing noone ever talks about. not that there was anything to discuss. i'm not saying people should talk about it all the time. it's just funny how paranoid some people react when it's mentioned.
*cough* uhum, yeah. i just wanted to let the world know.
anyway, i'm off to bed now as i am tired and i have to use every bit of tiredness i can find in my little body, so i manage to fall asleep.
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