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it's not easy being friends, it's even harder being lovers
2002-03-01
hey hey hey. it is about time for a new entry, i suppose.
today was pretty cool, tho. i was in a good mood most of the day. except for the p.e. lesson, of course. eventho i wasn't too pissed about that, either. it was pretty funny. actually it's always quite funny when you put sabrina and me together in one room. but the coolest thing happened when i got home. i got a letter today telling me that i have a job interview on 20th march which is damn cool. ok, so it's not exactly the job i wanted but the pressures pretty unbearable at the moment and i'm thankful for each little chance i can get.
oh, hey, i went shopping yesterday and i bought two new CDs (darren hayes - insatiable and muse - origin of symmetry) and two new bottles of nail varnish (black - mine was empty - and purple) the purple varnish looks soooo cute. wanna see? here's a pic:
my finger hurts. actually it only hurts when i type something. so i think i'm gonna stop now.
stay beautiful!
well, the past few days have been a huge up and down in my life really. i'm known to have incredible mood swings but what's been going on in the last time really wasn't funny anymore. even for myself. it's like...i wake up and i'm totally happy-and-shine and an hour later you better don't approach me in any way because i might scratch your eyes out. the worst thing is that exactly during that time my friends seemed to be eager to get really close to me and called me all the time or msg'ed me or whatever. so they got the full load of my bad mood. and i was terribly sorry afterwards but the next time i talked to them i was already so pissed off again that i wasn't feeling like apologizing at all. 
sometimes i'm really pretty awful and selfish.
yesterday was a pretty confusing day for me. not that so much had happened but oh well...let's start at the beginning. about a week ago or so i got to know that darren hayes (ex-savage garden) was gonna be on telly yesterday. being still a rather big fan of mainly savage garden which nevertheless includes darren, i planned to watch it, which i did. nothing special, just watch the show, maybe tape it and be happy for him for getting some attention and stuff. nothing more, nothing less. and i didn't expect anything really. but kinda my whole world was shaken when suddenly EVERYONE around me went completely insane. i mean, i knew that pretty much all my friends (except for one or two) are huge fans of darren. he's basically the reason why i met most of them in the first place (twas during a time when some other friendships broke apart and blabla) but that was just...CRAZY! 
suddenly even those who i hadn't expected to be all that...uhm...fanatic started babbling around like madmen and called in there and sent e-mails and basically freaked out. and i was just like 'helloooo, he's just a human being, you know?!' don't get me wrong. i'm happy for all those who got to talk to him in any way. it must have been pretty cool and all but i just don't get it. if, at least, they would have talked about it a bit more before it happened or whatever. but when i got to know about it i thought my friends didn't know and when i told them they were just like 'uh huh, ok' so i thought it was no big deal. i almost got into a fight with mariam because when she started whining about not getting through on the phone i just told her that there are worse things (or something along the lines) and she was pretty offended. but hey, at that moment, i had just fucked up my vcr and its remote control and had to go to my grandpa's to set his vcr to tape darren's appearance because i was going out and couldn't watch it. so what? i was extremely stressed and like 3 ppl at once were talking about exactly the same topic. and dunno...don't tell me they didn't need to be told that they had to come down at some point in order to not lose their way completely. 
i'm a bit scared tho, cos there are two parts of the whole thing. first we have to choose a subject and discuss it in a group of 5. then there's a personal talk with one of the people in charge. the dicussion scares me most because i really didn't know such a thing existed in job interviews/tests and i'm not sure if i am that great and having discussions with strangers about topics i don't even really care about (and i doubt it will be anything i care about) but oh well, i still have a few weeks time to practice at school and stuff.
pretty, isn't it? and am i not a sad little bitch? showing you pix of my nails and stuff. *shakes head* 
:::liebling:::
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