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adorable selfish-ness
2002-05-31
today has been another one of those extremely productive and creative days. which means i haven't done anything except sitting around, watching stupid talk- and courtshows, playing catan (which i re-discovered, yesterday) and spoiling my hoschis. really, pray to elvis that i'll never have kids. they'll become spoiled brats within 2 days. i gave them a huge portion of food and an even bigger piece of apple (which they nearly killed each other with, trying to transport the thing) and 10 or so strawberry drops. aww... bet you wanted to know that now.
i just read tina's newest entry. it's strange but i miss her. i mean, when we're both on on MSN we only ever talk like...2 out of 10 times for some reason and usually the conversations only start if one of us needs help or something else from the other one. but i miss her. i miss having the chance to talk to her if i want to.
oh yeah, i DID something, today. i tried to help maja with her diary. her older pages are completely fucked up and i have no idea what's wrong with it. if i insert some code made by MOI, it works. i thought it might have to do with the background she wants but she's using it on her main site, too and it isn't causing any probs. the only thing i can imagine is that diaryland's a tad fucked up, today because i tried several different things and no matter which mistake i am making, it can't make the things happen that are happening there at the moment.
anyway...
oh, i got a letter from the company i had the interview with, today. they don't want me. YEEEY! thank elvis. now, i won't have to decline and explain everything to my mom who would surely slap me around for a while.
ok, i am going back to play catan or something now. and...oops...i completely forgot that it's the last friday in this month. which means today the member of the month award will be given away on allsavagegarden. and this time, it's my turn to start the celebration. damn! *hurries there, now*
and today i noticed how much i actually envy and respect her. i'm sure she's gonna laugh when she reads this. but it's true. she's always writing about all the things she's doing and at the same time whining how she's so alone and all and i always wonder who she's doing all those things with. and then, i find out she's been doing those things all on her own. which is so cool. i wish i was brave and strong enough to do that. apart from the fact that i'd never go out alone, i'd probably be all insecure and bored if i did. she even manages to have fun. and i mean, i also wouldn't be able to move my butt without the encouragement of someone else.
and it's not only that. i really find her so cool. she seems to be so strong and proud and everything. ok, she always says about herself that she's rather weak and insecure and indecisive and all. but it's more about needing help with making decisions and in the end, she always makes her own ones anyway. and i like her 'fuck you' attitude. ok, that is something i have, too. hehe. but where i still worry about other people a lot, she just says what she thinks without really giving a shit about what people might think.
ok, that's enough now. she'll probably fall off her chair laughing when she's gonna read it. don't want her to expect something like me proposing to her in a sec or something. *laughs*
out of pure boredom i went to a chatroom today. and i talked to a really nice little girl for a while. ok, she was 14 but really sweet. but then i had to go and promised to PM her but when i tried to her name didn't exist and i remembered that you didn't have to use the same s/n in chat as you're using for the site. ok, we only talked for like 5 minutes and didn't have that much in common anyway and all. and probably she doesn't even expect me to write. but i feel bad, anyway. i don't want people to think i forget about them. yeah, i am a lazy bitch and don't care about much in my life but i'm not mean or anything.
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