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how boring can a life possibly get?
2003-03-10
i'm very tired so excuse any typos and idiotic sentences that don't make sense. i think i should be in bed as it's almost 2.30am and all. but i'm off work and somehow my inner rebel refuses to let me go to bed because that would suck.
i decided that i'll have to cut back on the talks with robert because he depresses me. i didn't talk to him since my last entry (obviously) but i just can't stop thinking about all his comments and his negativity depresses me. i'm not exactly the biggest optimist and usually i do better with having pessimistic people around me as well but he's really too much for me with all his conspiracy theories and stuff.
oh, hooray, stupid-people-talkshows on telly. they are amusing but at the same time that's worrying. i don't think we should let ourselves be entertained by such things. yet, i always watch that stuff if it's on. and the sad thing is actually that i always want to tale part in the discussions. i wouldn't go on telly for that but i find myself yelling at them all the time. but then again...i yell at my toothbrush if i feel the need to do so.
anyway, i shall go to bed now...so [silly joke]see you at the bitter end[/silly joke]
so i'm stuck here watching rock/alternative with zwan being on for the umptienth time now. and my palm is itching. i hate it when that happens because you can't scratch there. ok, you can but it never helps much.
*resists the urge to scratch palm*
this has been one of the most awfully boring days in the history of my online existence. messenger-wise the people i've talked to were tina and someone from the silver rocket board. and i actually went to the diaryland chat for the first time today because i noticed it works now that we have a router. 'twas ok but not overly exciting. i could complain about me doing fuck all today but that would be pathetic as i didn't get up before 5pm and there really wasn't much i could have done then seeing as most things take me at least three hours of planning and two hours of getting ready. but still...too many people around me are getting too much of a life lately. i know i should get one, too. but hey, i already got a work, so don't expect too much from me, ok? and lives usually mean building up and maintaining real life relationships to people which i've always sucked at. if i see/talk to someone more often than a few times a week, they start pissing me off and vice versa. so i guess me getting a life would end up in a disaster within a month or so. so actually the idea of my own little hut in the outback in australia is becoming more and more attractive.
do you know that it's monday already? i fear for my sanity. i mean, i'll probably go downtown today to buy some stuff but what am i gonna do tomorrow and on wednesday while my mom's at work. i'll slowly go insane. i'll get so excited that i'll simply explode. my mom will come home from work on wednesday and find pieces of me allover the place. yes, i'm sure that'll happen. or i'll be sitting in a corner giving the word hospitalism a whole new meaning. or i'll be humping my placebo posters. or maybe i'll have stuck my hamsters up with toothpicks and put them on the table with little self-made instruments to make them pretend to be placebo.
ooohh...a gorgeous gay boi just came on telly. *starts licking screen* hmm...he's complaining about not being able to find a job. how about some lovely gay porn, baby? ;) tee hee j/k
actually, i thought about sexuality today. not necessarily my own but in general. and i got stuck at an important question... if a gay man is a stripper, does he actually strip for women, too? ok, pretty random, i know. but i still wanna know. i mean, technically it doesn't involve sex, does it? but maybe he'd find it demeaning because his nature doesn't really tell him to turn women on. and after all, straight people don't really strip for people of the same sex, either. but then again...if they strip at a party and loads of people are there, they don't mind. and how does anybody find out anyway? the last thing people who hire a stripper think about is their sexuality. hmm...difficult question. haha. yeah, i know. kill me.
*gives in to the urge and scratches* ahhh....
you know, my mom freaks me out. she only buys super-exclusive things lately. ok, maybe not super-exclusive but this household is seriously lacking simple grocery stuff. i wanted to make myself chocolate cream today but we had no milk. then i decided bread with chocolate spread would do but we had no bread. that can't be normal.
placebo - blackeyed