Home
Archives
Profile
Book
Notes
Mail
Cast
Misc
Rings
Host
sorting things out
2004-01-23
well, as i mentioned in my last entry, i was having some difficulties with some people. one of them being annette. and i also mentioned a way to solve the problems. well...i did solve them.
no, i didn't show off *my* skills. no, i didn't freak out. i did something that scares me more than anything: i simply told her.
it all seemed so easy. i was late again. and i didn't want to go to the last 5 minutes of typing class so i went to the classroom of the next lesson and waited there for the others to arrive. when she and melanie came in, i first thought they were pissed off or whatever and i started sulking again. but then, annette wrote a message on a sheet of paper, asking me what had been wrong with me the day before. first, i just replied i didn't know what she meant cos i really wasn't prepared and didn't know how to react. but then i just ended up telling her the truth. i don't even know why. i could have said melanie just annoyed me. i could have said i had got an important text message with bad news. there were so many excuses i could have brought up. or, i could have given a reply that has become very common with me nowadays: "i'd rather not talk about it now". which, in itself, suggests a talk at a later time but with me this time never comes as i usually just swallow it down.
so, it all turned out well. and i'm happy. though i'm still shocked. i am not necessarily the most honest person when it comes to talking about feelings and stuff. in fact, i'm pretty much known for keeping things to myself until it all blows up. and then, there's this really huge explosion which always ends with everyone involved either crying or yelling and loads of things that should have never been said because they were just said to hurt the other.
things with christoph also evened out. i don't think i even mentioned him in particular in the entry but he was one of "the other people". but he wrote me this really sweet mail which i really didn't expect because the incident in itself didn't seem at all a big thing to me. or let's say...it didn't seem like the key to a discussion about the things that needed to be sorted out. but obviously, it was to him and, with hindsight, i have to say i'm glad because it's one problem less to worry about.
and now, i'm all exhausted and i have to sleep because i have a really exciting weekend ahead of me. my plans: locking myself up in my room with my laptop, my ps2, the tv, stereo, a couple bottles of diet coke, chocolate and whatever else seems useful to me then and playing final fantasy and the sims and watching my 2 new alice in wonderland dvd's plus maybe some movies i got. sounds awesome, right? don't you wish you had an exciting life like mine?
so, i was really shocked when i saw my hand writing similar things to what i have written here in the last entry. for a moment, i was contemplating to erase what i had written but that wasn't really possible as the pen i was using couldn't be erased. so, i just handed her the paper and surprisingly, she didn't get mad, she didn't think i was being a drama queen, she didn't just ignore my reply. nothing of that. she even said she was sorry.
so, it was really weird for things to turn out this way now. but i can't say i'm unhappy with how they went.
the hives - hate to say i told you so