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sick to death.
2004-05-27
damn, i wanted to write some proper updates before i go to london. and now it's midnight, thursday's arrived and in 5 hours i have to get up in order to leave home by 5.45 to pick annette up. so i really don't have time for a looong entry now. though i am still contemplating pulling an all-nighter so i have enough time to remember important things like CDs. i can totally see us sleeping in tomorrow and me rushing through the flat, forgetting the most important things. does anybody else always feel like they'll *never* come home again and they need to cram as much as possible into their suitcase? i'm so like that. hell, it's not even a week. yet, so far i'm taking about 7 tops and 4 pants with me, though i *KNOW* i'll probably run around in the same pants all the time. i'm even taking high heels with me. how silly. and i put my entire make-up case into the suitcase as well. which is really overdoing it but hey, i'll need it. and tomorrow, i need to pack my handbag which i haven't done yet cos there'll mainly be food and drinks in there. and CDs and stuff, of course but that's food, too, isn't it? *g*
and, of course, as always, i have my "i don't really want to go" feeling. i hate this. you look forward to something forever and then you don't want to go. right now, i just want to curl up under my blanket and sleep. not because i'm tired (which i am, though) but because i want to be alone. i hate this.
also, i got a little scared today. i got up around 11 again and then only had a small bit of cereals and only half a cup of cappucino. then, i ate and drank nothing the whole day but spent most of the time at the hairdresser in that hot air of the hairdryer and all. when we got home, we ordered some food but before it arrived, i had to rush (well, stumble) to the kitchen to grab some little meat balls and drink half a bottle of coke because i felt so weak and close to collapsing. it scared me shitless because this is just wrong. there are people who just don't eat anything at all for a day and probably, they do feel hungry after a while but i was really scared of just fainting. i didn't want to tell my mum, though, because she would have lectured me and told me how i probably have diabetes and blabla and that would have creeped me out so much, i would have been too scared to go to london tomorrow. so, now i can just pretend that everything's fine and i'll probably believe it like i always do.
i think i'll go to bed now though i know i won't be able to sleep.
edit (12:20am): just for your viewing pleasure i'm gonna post the prettiness that is my new hair. in crappy webcam mode. yay. all hail the webcam!
evanescence - everybody's fool (thanks to daniela <3 )