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sorry, i guess
2003-09-23
gosh, there's this thread on AFI's message board where people discuss the meaning of "sing the sorrow" and the ep before that album and the songs and all and there are soooo many little things that make so much sense. actually, each time i read people's theories, it creeps me out so much i have to cry. most of the theories are very very sad but seem to make so much sense, too. and in the end it makes davey seem like a really sad and depressed person.
anyway, i think yesterday was somehow the worst day during my friendship with maja so far. i don't really want to write it all down here because there are things that should be kept between two people. all i can say is that i spent ages sitting in the dark thinking about myself and perhaps starting to hate myself even more than i used to do anyway. not that that meant much, though, seeing as i've been beyond the point of caring about what happens to me for quite some time. but i'm sorry that i seem to be dragging her into it...
well, i skipped work today. i can't even really explain why. yes, i've had a terrible headache since yesterday, so i could pull that one off quite easily. and i couldn't bear facing anything today but that wasn't technically because of the light hurting my eyes but more because of me hurting myself. i feel loads better now, though. i think sometimes you just need that. me perhaps more often than your average person.
haha. no my head is aching again. and my mum said i look really miserable. think i should go see a doctor and pull an all-weeker?
i was thinking about this a lot today. and i noticed that he fascinates me more than anyone else, famous or not. not from the fancying-side but really...fascinating, you know? he always seems so...mysterious. like he's hiding something that's such a big terribly thing that he has to hide it or everyone who finds out will die or something. i doubt it's really that dramatic but it's what it seems like. he's perhaps the most tragic person i've ever seen.
and well, those theories were just...my thoughts written out. just that i never thought of it in relation to STS...
AFI - girl's not grey