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(private) war

2003-03-21


evil has a new name: melanie. god bless that motherfucking bitch! i just can't figure her out, sorry. how can anyone be so...so...moody? it's just not possible. i mean, she actually greets you like barbie in the morning with such a huge smile and you think everything's ok and all and three hours later she acts all pissy on you and you have no idea why. or actually no, she wouldn't do it with YOU. she does it with ME. i am not convinced that it is something personal. it has to. i am almost sure i found the reason as well. i think it has to do with robert. i drive him home quite often and we get along ok-ish and it's now kind of official that they're a couple. i think it might just be jealousy. ok, this sounds very vain but it is the only explanation. it's silly and all because i mean, yeah, we get along quite well and i drive him home but we have almost nothing in common, he's not my type, i am pretty sure i'm not his type and i think it's quite obvious that i am not impressed by some of his behaviour.
i'm really doing my best to ignore her but she's also one of the people who have to be the center of interest all the time so she's constantly present.
it's just so bah because i don't even try to make conversation with her. all i actually ever do to communicate with her is ask work-related questions which i have to. so i have no idea why she has to act all pissy. she doesn't even have to talk to me. *rolls eyes*
other than that work is getting more and more boring. i hate talking to customers and i hate being nice and polite all the time and actually trying to understand people who have a crap german/english and mumble and whisper and i hate dressing all fancy and i hate having to stand all the time and it just sucks...

oh and my mom is sick. maybe she won't be able to come to cologne with me on monday. there's no way in hell i'd miss it. but i'd hate to go alone.
and i hate that awful war going on. and i also hate people being all pretentious. i actually read a cool entry in mattferrara's diary about how people should stop saying they don't wanna hear stuff about this war anymore. and i completely agree. but neither do i want to hear people talking about war and being all hysterical and pretentious anymore. 'ooohhh...the US started bombing iraq. how exciting. let's watch the news. and afterwards we'll find a new amusement.' i mean, what's all that shit about? matchbox 20 cancelling their tour and saying they'll reschedule it for later this year and all. that's bullshit. it's not like this war made the world all that much more dangerous. there were bomb attacks and all sorts of shit before and who says the war is gonna be over or the situation will be less tense in a few months? and all those people that go 'ooohh...look at all those dead bodies. the poor people.' ok, i admit war is crap and i feel more than a little sorry for the people who have to live with it but let's stay fair here...who ever said 'ooohhh, look at those poor people' when it comes to seeing african children starve on telly? just because this war is much bigger and much more exciting and you can see it live on telly 24/7 it doesn't mean it's any better or worse than all the other crap going on in other parts of the world. ok, i'm not better, either. i'm not really paying much attention to the news most of the time. but at least i don't go like 'oh my god, oh my god, oh my god...' now. i mean even though this war is the biggest crap i've 'witnessed' in my life so far you still have to show some maturity...

and with that i'll end this now because i have to sleep because i have to go shopping in that big kinda wholesaler metro store tomorrow to see if we can get some cheap trolley-suitcases for malta....probably with my grandpa so wish me luck, please.


placebo - second sight



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