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~::*::~welcome to reality~::*::~
2002-04-17
well well, i thought about something: i'm writing such a load of stuff in my little 'beary' book, everyday and hardly anything ever makes it into this diary. simply because i'm not feeling and thinking the same in the evening as in the morning, when i wrote it. and usually, i want to start something new here, then. well, from now on, i'm gonna add what i've written there in this lovely pink colour which is cooool.
16th april 2002, 10.50am
yup yup, that's about it. that's the stuff i think about when being locked up in the shithole that is my school.
stay beautiful!
hehe. not everytime, though. just when i want to.
well, here we go for the first time...
i know that daria must feel like when she's looking at brittany. the girls in my class are so...so...well, DUMB!
we're having a free lesson, now and since sabrina and jenny left me for a few minutes, i have nothing to do but to sit here and listen to their little dumbass-talks. *adopts mocking voice* "oh, blowjobs are so disgusting" "no, but it tastes weird when he's cumming in your mouth" blaaah... 
i hate such girly-talks. it's ok if you seriously discuss such topics with your friends but sitting in a circle of 6 or 7 girls, laughing and giggling about bloody normal things like blowjobs!!!!
ok, ok, i'm a bit insensitive about sex-related topics. some people would probably say i'm a slut or so. but sex just isn't such a big deal for me. it's not the buggest news for me when someone's has a one-night-stand. who cares? 
everyone does it. have sex in general, i mean. some more often, some less often. some with their lover, some with a stranger. and people like different things. so, what's all the fuss about? i never really got what all the giggling and stuff is for. it's pointless. it's childish. but, at least, it's amusing. ahem...
*puts earphones in and listens to the calling* i've completely fallen for them, recently. i always thought the was great but the lyrics lacked of content but somehow, i changed my mind, now. maybe they just needed to get a meaning for me, which they did. lines like
if a great wave shall fall and fall upon us all / then between the sand and stone, could you make it on your own
are just so pretty and actually really deep, though the metaphors seem cheezy, at first. not that i'd forgotten about placebo, though. aww... 
still, almost 5 hours to kill, here. got school til 4pm, today. *frowns* but my mommy's picking me up. and then, we're going to maccy d's. HOORAY! bye bye, diet!
and, yep, you're right. i am happy, today. i am quite motivated and all. today, i checked the apprenticeship-site and there were over 80 offers in my area. and then i got some more pix taken and sent out 7 more letters. and today, i'm probably gonna send out 3 more. i know, it's quite late but obviously not TOO late since there were so many offers. only like 2 good offers in my hometown, though. most of the things i applied for are in d�sseldorf. 
but that's alright. it's only like 40 mins from here if you go by public transport. and i could probably also afford my own car, then. so, no probs, there.
well, i would write more but i gotta pick my mom up from work. and then we're going SHOPPIIIING! yey
~::*::~liebling~::*::~
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