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exams, friends...what else do you need to be happy?
2002-06-10
i feel terrible. for several reasons.
a) tomorrow is the day of my first exam. i'm sooo gonna fail. i didn't study at all. on friday, i told my mom that i'd have to take a look at my books/notes this weekend. but i didn't. and today, i also noticed that it's gonna be the exam i'm scared of...not the easy one. but did i study? nop! wtf? i only looked at my notes once. for exactly 3 minutes. i'm doomed. i swear. i didn't understand anything anymore. i used to do ok but now it's all gone. and i mean, it's not like i've been awfully busy all day. in fact, i did nothing. my 'brother' was here and finally fixed my comp but I didn't do it, so i could have studied. i only went over to a friend's house for 10 minutes or so. that's all. the rest of the day was completely eventless. but whenever i felt bored, i took my harry potter book and read for a while, instead of having a look at my books. ARGH! i can aswell just hang myself, now.
b) i dunno who or what to be angry at now but this is what happened: i was sending sms' with maja for a while today. my battery was low the whole time and then she called and my mobile 'died'. ok, i'd be such a liar to say it bothered me much because i wasn't in the mood to talk, anyway. we had guests and my room had to be open so my 'brother' could fix the comp and i didn't really have a place to 'hide' and i didn't really want to talk to anyone anyway. a few minutes later, i got a call from a friend who asked if i could come over for a minute to have a look at something (she lives across the street) so i went there. during that time maja must have called my mom's phone or something. well, my mom said i'd be gone for about an hour (wtf?) but when i got home, she just didn't tell me. ok, i don't think she did it on purpose but i guess she forgot. so, i'm kinda mad at my mom because she told me so late. now, it's too late to call her but i really wanted to talk to her. i am a little mad because i also checked my answering machine and she's left a message there. i mean...wtf? do i look like i'm too stupid to check my messages and all? that's basically what i wanted to talk about with her. but now, it's too late. damn! probably she's gonna read this before i get a chance to talk to her and it'll look like i'm a coward for writing it here and blah. gaaawd! *slaps herself*
c) my goodamn fucking idiotic msn messenger isn't working. we had to install that shitty dsl network program and everything else works but not msn. WHY???? almost all my friends are on msn and it doesn't make sense for me to be on on yahoo or aim. :( *feels sick and lonely*
the good news, tho, is that brian-darling is gonna be on telly here on wednesday. ok, it's that stupid teeny-show and he's coming together with the alpinestars but it's still great. it feels so good to see his face on telly. which is no wonder - with all those sickos you always see everywhere. i guess, tomorrow i'm already gonna get my tape and vcr ready. hehe. maybe, he'll even be on mtv select. or nbc giga. or whatever... *gets all excited*
anyway, it's bloody 12.30am, now. i can't even manage to go to bed early. i have to get up at 7am (ok ok, 7.30am probably). ok, i can't complain because it's only tomorrow and wednesday and i only have to stay for as long as i need to finish the exam (probably 2 minutes - the time i need to read everything and write my name on the paper - haha). and then i can go to bed again...or watch tv...or jump into the river...or eat my left foot...uhm...you're getting the point, right? so, just for those two bloody times (which will be followed by at least 8 weeks of laziness) i should get a fucking grip of myself and go to bed early and be a good girl so i'll be awake when i fuck the whole thing up. *lmao* ok, i mean...this school stuff is easy enough that i can safely say 'fucking it up' means getting at least a D. but in tomorrow's subject i've been pre-rated B. *cries*
anyway, that's it. i'm off to bed now. nighters!
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