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working class heroine
2005-05-30
damn, i really need to sleep but i also feel the need to write an entry now. i feel bad about so many things right now. not bad as in "oh my god, i'm gonna kill myself cos i'm so depressed" but just...guilty.
uhm...what else? oh yeah, working on sundays sucks. because when you come home from work, everyone is so relaxed and you feel like it's a monday but everyone else tells you about the lovely relaxing day they've had. not even the extra cash can make up for that. i swear, on thursday evening, when everyone's dead from almost a full week of work, i'm gonna call everyone whose number i can get a hold of to tell them how relaxed i am and how much i enjoyed my days off. yup.
first of all, in my last entry i mentioned this big fancy cast site i made and i even added the link but i haven't written anything there, yet. i was planning to do that after writing the entry so people wouldn't even notice that i had put a filler first. but then i didn't feel like it anymore and now it's pretty much a useless link. i still have to change that.
that is only a small thing to feel bad about, though. the next thing would be annette. i don't feel bad about her but about not having gone to see her last thursday. she had called me and asked me whether i was up to something. i really wanted to tell her that i would come and pick her up but i had also promised my mum to visit her, so i went to do that. i know my mum wouldn't have been mad at me if i had cancelled it but it would have made me feel like a cheating bitch anyway. i tend to stick to my promises, unfortunately. but i think now annette is a little pissy at me anyway. i asked her what she's doing on wednesday/thursday because i'll have those days off and she was only like "i have to work and you can just hang out at home - like i did". it's ok that she has to work but i still think she's kinda glad to get me back.
and the last thing to feel bad about would be k. she keeps coming round to talk to me when she's taking breaks at work. i hardly ever do that. i can't help it, i seem to only ever take breaks when i really need to pee or something. we have 5-7 minutes per hour we can use to not stare at the screen plus 30 minutes for a lunch break. but i never even get close to the 42 mins. max. of short breaks we get. i only go to the loo every 2 or 3 hours and sometimes i take a break to get a new bottle of diet coke from the vending machine or something. i completely forget about doing it just to talk to someone. admittedly, i'm also kind of tired of her rantings about her oh-so-annoying-but-definitely-100%-perfect boyfriend. i mean, she doesn't even call him "my boyfriend" or "my darling" or whatever else young lovey-dovey people come up with. she just calls him "mine". every so often she'll go like "yesterday MINE said..." and it takes a few seconds for my poor brain to process the information. it's like "huh? your what?" i mean, it might be ok to talk like that to someone who also has a boyfriend and is enganged in a conversation about him with you. but when you're making a completely random comment about something or someone, it might be helpful to actually mention their name once. apart from that i've never met the guy but know way more about him that i would even want to know about my best friends. like, during the first few weeks of me and k. talking, she told me about him puking his way through the night. so, if i should ever get to meet the poor guy, i will have immense problems with trying to get rid of the mental images of him hovering over a toilet bowl. awesome.
jimmy eat world - 23