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farewell, the ashtray girl
2003-05-30
tadaaaaa. a new template. and it's also self-made. i could put myself down now and say it's not very good and all but i love it. i know technically it's not a masterpiece but it looks cool and it doesn't really matter whether there's loads of fancy-schmancy stuff in it as long as it makes a good template, right?
anyway, there's a really pretty thunderstorm going on outside. the flashy light annoys me a little as the window's write across from me but it's still beautiful and the thunder's not very loud yet so i'm not really scared. ok, i don't seriously get scared during thunderstorms anyway. not with the light and tv on and my mom around, anyway.
it's only 5 days til the next placebo gig. yes, i finally decided i'm going. definitely. sadly, i'll probably take my mom with me. i was almost 100% sure i'd go alone and i would do it if it was in cologne or d�sseldorf or somewhere else i have already been at. but it's in bielefeld and i don't even know how to find the town, leave alone the venue. and after the gig when it's dark it'll be superhard to find my way back without help. and i mean, i have to get up at 5 the next morning. so i prefer going with my mom then. also, she suggested it and i don't really wanna tell her that going to a placebo gig with her leaves me feeling a bit embarrassed...
oh, i am actually mourning at the moment. on wednesday we went to the mall and i discovered that they FUCKING closed HMV!!! i mean, hello?! that was the only record shop we had anywhere near. ok, there's one pretty cool but small-ish independent record store in my home town. it has to order basically everything and the clerks are always stoned so you'll probably end up with the wrong records. and the rest is complete bullshit. just random retail stores with music sections. nothing where you can find people that know what they're selling or are able to order something for you or something. so i am lost. there is a WOM in d�sseldorf but that leaves me down to the choice whether i wanna go 40 minutes by train or pay �7 for two hours parking at the other end of the city.
eyag! the thunderstorm's really starting to scare me now. i don't think it's ever been that bad ever since...well...no, it's never been like this before. at least not that i can remember.
oh, you know what? i feel like a right sick little bunny. today my mom accidently burnt me with her cig and though i yelled at her for smoking while driving when she's not able to coordinate everything i secretly thought of 'this picture' and how i was 'the ashtry girl' and all and that made me feel all cool and special. i really shouldn't be feeling like this.
actually, i wanted something dark and depressed and i spent two days finding such a template and then i decided i'd make my own and i really started off making something black and all but somehow it ended up being like this. hehe.
i am also feeling good because i just took a shower using 'narcotick' from lush. it smells so lovely and tranquilizing. i could just about fall asleep now. but i've been sleeping way too much the past two days already. i had yesterday and today off. yesterday i probably beat my own sleeping record. i slept in til about 12, then got up, had some food and went to bed again after an hour, sleeping til 5. but then i didn't go to bed until 4 in the morning. i discovered my mom had blobby volleyball on her pc, so i played that for ages.
i'll go play sims now as brian already has 2 celebrity stars.
HIM - the funeral of hearts