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stressed out!
2002-12-29
why do things always have to happen at once? i've been sitting on my arse for two days now. i've done absolutely nothing. i hung around online without having anything to do or any important things to discuss with anyone. tomorrow, i just wanted to go shopping. to get red underwear. because evil tina got me thinking with her panic from last year and now i HAVE to have red underwear for new year's eve. so i was gonna drive to the mall with my mom. all very relaxed. buy some underwear and maybe look for some clothes for my time in the telecommunication store in february/march and afterwards go and buy some groceries for over the holidays. and what happens? my mom tells me we have to bring the car to the garage to get the oil changed and have its annuary check-up done. afterwards we'll still go shopping but we have to be home by 2pm because sascha wants to come over and install some stuff on my lappy. now, don't think i'm not grateful. after all, i'm getting my car checked on for free (grandpa's paying for some twisted reason i don't understand - ok, i do understand...he's afraid i wouldn't get it done if he didn't push me to it), i get free stuff installed, i get to go shopping... but it's all a bit much for one day. i mean, i am off until 7th january, so there's plenty of time to do all those things. but nooo, it has to happen tomorrow. AND i have to get up at 9am which is ridiculous. now, i definitely have to get drunk on new year's eve. hehe.
i dunno what to do with my hair. i'm gonna go to the dairdresser either on friday or next monday. but i have no idea what to do. i wanna change everything. the style, the colour. but dunno how. i want them to tell me what would suit me but usually, they tell me something i don't want. argh. i don't really care about my job anymore as they can't tell me i won't get to work in a store anymore because my ID card is sent out soon and it has my old pic on it and it's too late to have a look at me and tell me off anyway. and i don't want any punk-like hairdo anyway. it's not like i want a mohawk or whatever. just some colour. maybe bright red or so. *sigh*
new year's eve. i am not not gonna visit maja. it would have been nice but it's just too much hassle. i'm not spontaneous enough. plus we didn't have any plans as to what to do. ok, we'd still have been together but i guess we would have started to piss each other off or something. i dunno. so we're both staying home but making plans for next year. we might spend it in london then so that's quite a good deal. i've never spent NYE anywhere else. that would be nice. though, the older i get the less important it seems to me. i used to think it was a big deal and you have to celebrate it like crazy cos it's the beginning of a new year and blablabla. but life always went on as usual. i was so euphoric each time and i made plans about what to change and everything and nothing ever happened because the next day was so ordinary again and i felt completely silly for even thinking about changing anything.
alright, i'm off to download some stuff on kazaa before i forget about it again which happens way too often lately...
mark owen (don't ask) - i am what i am