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bitches, diet coke and gay men

2002-05-29


it's another 'i hate everyone and everything' day. it started with me not being able to find the jeans i wanted to wear. and when i was finally pissed off enough and decided to wear something else, i went into the bathroom to do my make-up and stepped right into a huge puddle of cat-pee. so, i went totally bonkers, grabbed the cat and put him into his own puddle. yeah, it was quite disgusting but the damn thing had to get a lecture. i think he found it pretty gross and sickening but wtf? stepping into cat-pee when you're bare-foot isn't exactly tasty, either.
then, i drove to school and only got found a parking lot half a mile away from my school. and i mean, i was pretty...annoyed anyway because it was my last day at school and somehow i'm not really happy with that. ok, i've been waiting for this forever but somehow i hate the fact that i don't have any duties like that anymore and i miss my friends and fooling the teachers and all. :( and i kinda hate myself for feeling like that because it hasn't even been one day and i already miss everything. i should be relieved and all.
and then the most annoying thing happened. i went grocery shopping with my mom and a stupid fucking slutty-looking bitch walked up to me and went like 'got a problem?' and this really bitchy tone. the bitch was lucky that my mom was around. otherwise i would have told her were to go. but my mom dragged me away and told me to shut up which i hated her for, too. i mean, i didn't even want to go shopping and i was pissed off at the whole world anyway. all i wanted was to run into the shop, grab some food and run back home again. and i obviously didn't want to be bothered with such crap by a cheap person like that, dammit. man, i am just soooo angry!
eep! i have to come down, now. i really shouldn't freak out like that. *breathes in* *breathes out*

so yeah...no school for me, anymore. what on earth am i gonna do now? ok, probably the same as usually: nothing. but...dunno...i miss the pressure of having to go to school and being able to complain about it and all. i didn't do much but i could say 'yeah, i'm still at school'. now i can only say 'well, i do nothing'. :( it doesn't even have to do with any (non-existing) future plans. it's just a fact. i've never been good at enjoying free time. mainly because when i have something to do, i'm never really busy, either.

btw, what i haven't written about it, yet is that our teacher had this idea on monday. everyone got an A3 size sheet of paper with their name and then got a comment by everyone else in the class written on their. kinda the same as american/british yearbooks. it was the usual blabla since most of us weren't really close with each other. but my teacher wrote something like 'being different isn't always a bad thing' on mine and i thought it was damn cool. my friends said they find it rude but i think it's not. i like being different. it's a cool statement. :)

oh, and another thing i forgot to write about...when i went out on friday there was this really sweet bartender. and when i saw him it just blew me away because he looked soooo much like stef. o.O he looked exactly like stef in this pic:


just imagine him with dark brown hair, now. and he was also about the same height as him. ok, i've never met stef but i've been told how tall he is and it's no secret anyway and i mean...you can guess that. *g* so, i was just standing there staring at him until i kind of figured a rockstar like stef probably wouldn't be bartending in a shabby town like this. aww... :(

alright, that has to be enough for tonight because i'm completely dehydrated and i have to go down to the car and get a bottle of diet coke out before i get too weak to breathe. *laughs*


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