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dip dip dooh

2003-03-29


my life is boring. yes, it is. i haven't had a real social life for ages. i shouldn't really complain because i put an end to everything myself by not wanting to go out most of the time. whenever i get asked wether i want to go to some club, i find excuses or something because i hate it. in fact, i feel bad for it. i feel...dunno...strange. everyone seems to like going out but i don't. i'm not a geek, either. i'm just nothing. absolutely nothing.
there just aren't any people i'd like to do anything with around me. i suppose going to clubs with maja or tina wouldn't be so bad. or even spending time with them. cos we seem to have things in common and we all hate the superficial lifestyle of most people out there. but all the friends i live are seem to be like the people i hate. the only person i can actually bare going out with is danny and even she annoys me. she's become so different. back when we were best mates we had loads in common. guys and sex didn't matter all that much. we've both had contact to boys and we've both made our experiences but it didn't matter. it wasn't subject to our thoughts and talks 24/7. now it seems to be the only thing that matters to her.
and sabrina just makes me feel like a complete loser. it's not about what she says or does. but she's beautiful and perfect and just fits so perfectly into this world and i don't and i seem like a loser next to her. and going out with her makes it even worse because she's always a part of whatever is going on wherever we're going and i'm just always the outsider because i don't fit in anywhere.

i'm just so bored but i can't think of anything i could do. boredom is a bitch, really. and i don't think many people actually realise how bad it really is. because hardly anyone really gets bored. how can you when you have cool friends and loads of stuff to do? ok, maybe it happens for a day or so but try my boring life for a week and you'll know what i mean.

my mom annoys me with her health-food and tea. she's constantly eating and drinking. when the doctor said she should only drink tea and eat stuff like zwieback, she didn't mean she has to do it 24/7. currently she drinks about 5 or 6 cans of tea a day and i mean...that won't help, either. and the worst thing is that she keeps dipping the zwieback into the tea and then still drinks it and watching her annoys me so much. see how bored i am?
i can't even play sims cos sascha still hasn't called. really glad to be able to help, isn't he?

my job's seriously starting to bore me, too. i talked about it with robert and he didn't get it at all. he said i was quite good at it and that i'll probably end up working at a t-punkt store after my apprenticeship, too. hello?! I SAID IT BORES ME, YOU PRICK!!! i don't care if i'm good at it. i don't like it. i don't want to do it.

ok, i'm loads more amused now because i just watched 'malcolm in the middle' and it was hilarious. ok, me being overly excited because of a tv show is another sign of my lack of real life but i love that show to bits.
and now i'll go and scribble down some ideas i just had for a new site me and a few mates are working on...


myballoon - trust no one



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