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nobody likes boring girls
2003-06-28
do you ever just hate your life? it happened to me yesterday morning. it wasn't any feeling in particular like sadness or anger or whatever. i wasn't even feeling bad. i just looked at my wardrobe and hated every piece of clothing in there. then i looked at my face in the mirror and hated it, too. and i also hated the flat, the car, the music...just everything. it only lasted about half an hour and i was ok because i knew it wouldn't last too long. it even made me feel good because hate is such a cool feeling and you're so safe from everything when you hate someone or something. afterwards i was feeling all great until we had lessons with our 'fave' teacher again. then i was a bit down again because so many small things happened at once. first we were all bouncy because some of the class had talked to the class teacher who said we should talk to the school councelor (sp?) guy who (quite interestingly) has free days on thursdays and fridays. so she said if something went wrong again we could just leave. so of course we were all happy because we were sure something would happen. but it didn't. the freak was almost sickeningly friendly. so we couldn't leave school. then another guy freaked out. and this was the second time that someone freaked out there. it was in that disgusting way that usually drunk people in pubs freak out and yell at each other and i once again thought how much i hate to be in one class with such people. especially because there was no reason for him to be like that. and also annette annoyed me with her 'i'm such a good student. i'm so much better than everyone' behavior because i was having problems with a task and she knew it so she could have shut her bloody gob about it.
pff, saturday afternoons suck now, too. no dawson's creek, no malcolm in the middle, no nothing. yeah, i could use the time to do something interesting but i am a boring person and there's nothing i want to do at the moment. currently i hate superficial britney-clones more than ever so going out tonight would be pretty dangerous. i can't even make use of the shops being open longer on saturdays now because i don't want to spend loads of money as i want to save up for london and all. i guess i'll just go to bed again later.
i also think i fucked something up but i can't really write about it here. i don't even want to think about it because in a way i also think it's not my fault at all and that it's someone else's fault. and i really admire this someone and i don't want to think they're that retarded. how silly. tse.
i think i'll go add that random entry thingie now because it seems fun...
roswell just sucks so much. i can't believe people watch it every week without getting bored. i'm watching the first episode for weeks and already i am waiting for the season to finish. the only amusing character is that michael dude. but i guess that's only because you're getting desperate after all those 'oh, my life is so shit, i am only 16 but this is the love of my life how can my parents hate him? blablabla kill me. blablabla'-characters.
the rasmus - in the shadows