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mirror, mirror on the wall...
2005-02-28
i shouldn't be surprised as i knew this was coming. yes, dear readers and people who stumbled in because they were looking for perverted sex sites on google, it happened: i am doubting my new job, future and everything related to it. actually, i was already feeling awkward about it a few nights ago. but that vanished quickly and i blamed it on the lack of sleep i was suffering from then. i could do that now, too. but i don't know, somehow, i feel the need to properly go through this "oh no, my life is gonna suck even more, please kill me"-phase to get it over with. i'm not actually feeling bad, i just have a million questions in my head that i can't find answers to right now. i don't even know if i will find them tomorrow. i don't even know what the questions are exactly. but i suppose i will know a lot more tomorrow. deep down, i think i'm just afraid of all the new people and whether i will get along with them. i put new people in three categories: like a lot, can get along with and annoying as fuck. the first two are positive, obviously, and i hope my team will mostly consist of those. most people are can get along with's, of course, as you very rarely meet people whom you can like or despise immediately. and later, i can discover what they're really like, of course.
also, i hope they won't make us do a million roleplays. i hate those. no matter if it's a getting to know you-game or a job training thing. it just annoys me because i don't see the point. you have to imagine something to go on and you have to act and that is not what a real situation is like. admittedly, such a roleplay game was what got me the job in the first place and even i have to admit i did extraordinarily well. but i still hate it. but again...we will see.
i got a lovely new haircut today. i only wanted to get the dye refreshed and get the ends cut off. but there were all new people at the salon and they finally promised to dye some parts REALLY red. as we all know, i had red highlights and stuff of that kind before but it always was really really dark and i had to stand in the right light for people to really see the red. but now it's really bright red. i got some strands in the back, so the back is red and the rest is black and i love it. they also made it all curly (well, more...wavy) and nice. *loves it* but the girl who did it was really unnerving. she kept babbling complete rubbish. i thought it was just me being unsocial and tired and just not in the mood but later my mum, who picked me up and paid for the cut (heh.), said she had thought the same. you just didn't want to reply anything or start a convo yourself or anything. i made the huge mistake of telling her about my new job and all because i felt bad about never saying anything after some time. and then she mentioned it at any given opportunity. no, she screamed it across the salon, in case anyone could have missed it. and people were giving me awkward looks. but yeah...i have a sweet new haircut and i love it and i will look great tomorrow, so that's fine.
and dammit, i need to go to bed because...well, work tomorrow. yes, it DOES feel good to be able to say that.
big brother on tv - yes, i suck