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bitching and whining
2005-04-24
is it wrong that i'm feeling bad because i have to work tomorrow? i probably sound like a lazy bitch. which i am. but that place really makes me feel weird already. friday was a bit crappy. i was on the late shift with three others (on our floor...there were more on the other two) and i think they were talking behind my back. i can't help it, they're all nice people but we don't click. i can't even say it's because we don't have anything in common because i don't know. whenever i try to talk to them, there's just some awkward feeling between us. i constantly feel like they're making fun of me. and i can't figure out whether it's me being paranoid again (which is likely) or whether they really don't like me. usually i wouldn't care because they're three out of about 400 other employees but it really ruined friday's shift for me and i think we have shifts together in the next 3 or 4 weeks. i'm so gonna send a mail with my priorities to our reporting department tomorrow. i decided i'm gonna ask for two weeks late shift and two weeks early shift every month. i know i said i wouldn't mind late shifts. and i still don't. it's not the times that annoy me but everything else. as i said, the other late shift people suck. also, i don't have a life outside of work when i have to be there from afternoon to late night. i'm still gonna work quite a few of those shifts because the bonus you get is really good and i'm a greedy bitch and NEED money. but i want at least one or two weeks of a life every month. i'm suck of having to squeeze myself into the mall with about a million other people on a saturday. where's the point in earning lots of money if spending it isn't any fun?
it still bothers me to have those co-workers against me. that's not how i wanted it to start. i thought about at least going up to one of the guys and confronting him directly but the stubborn part of me says i have no need to do so since i've done nothing wrong. sure, i thought it through and maybe at some point, he got me wrong and thought i didn't like him. and, yes, maybe i should walk up to him and tell him that if that's the case, he's wrong. but on the other hand...he often sounded harsh, too, so i could as well expect him to do so and why should i crawl up to him? i don't know, i just wish i was working more shifts together with the nice people of my training group. and i wish we were on another floor. the one i had most of my training days on was so awesome. people there were really sweet and helpful. but unfortunately, that's not where my team is located.
at least, my boss is sweet. he came up to me on friday and apologized for "neglecting" me. i didn't even feel he did. i know he's busy and all confused lately because he only just got promoted and he's only been team leader since the beginning of this month, so there's probably a lot of things he needs to get used to. but he promised that we'll have a little welcome talk tomorrow and i'm looking forward to that.
there you go, i'm writing way too much about work, lately. but there's really not much going on otherwise.
i went out with annette yesterday. it was good to catch up with what's going on in her life lately. i envy her a little because her work rocks. well, i wouldn't want her job but i want to have as much responsibility and work in a nice team like her. also, she gets to work in cologne. i want to work in a big city like that again. d�sseldorf was doing my head in when i had to go there every morning but working in a small crappy town like essen just sucks as much and makes me feel all small and worthless.
and that was basically my weekend. i'm (hopefully) getting paid next week, so i'm already starting to make plans for another little shopping trip. just to cheer myself up and distract myself from the torture that is work. and i hope i'll get back to updating this more regularly. it feels good to write things off my chest here but i keep forgetting that.
we also were out in cologne last night. we started by having dinner at pizza hut which was really good (as always). i wonder how i managed to live my life without discovering the awesome garlic ring. the pizza hut we were at is located right at the media park which i love. it's basically just a place with lots of tall buildings where most tv and radio stations have their offices and studios. but there's also a little pond in the center and it's just a nice place. i don't like the towncenter of cologne but the media park rocks muchos. we also wanted to see a movie at the infamous cinedom right next to the pizza hut. but we wanted to see "amityville horror" and when we arrived at the ticket booth, the movie had just begun. we didn't want to wait for 2 hours, so i called my mum and told her to book us tickets for the movie with the cinema at my hometown and we went all the way there. and i mean what i'm gonna say now: do NOT watch this movie!!! ever!!! it was really good but it scared me so much. i was dead scared after dropping annette off at home. i had to go home and even though i was on the highway, i was nearly going crazy when there was no car around. scary, scary, scary! but still one of the best movies i've seen lately. well, "seen" is said too much as i spent most of the time with my hand in front of my face. i'm such a girl sometimes!
the killers - mr brightside