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Voil� le Morningstar
2005-10-22
Since I changed my layout and can't just let it happen without commenting on it: here's another entry straight from the boredom that is my life at the moment.
So dear IE users,
if it looks like the text area won't go deep enough on this layout, this might be because Firefox and IE just don't seem to be able to agree on anything. If you know how to fix this without fucking everything else up, tell me.
Cheers,
PS: GET FIREFOX!!
Ok, glad we got that outta the way.
So, what else? Well, today was fine. We had to skip our diet course because it was my Granpa's birthday. 85! Holy crap! He got cards from all sorts of companies and institutions. Even the local Church community sent one. And was laughed at by us because they were still using the old ZIP code on their sender address. Seriously, the codes were changed from 4 digits to 5 digits in the whole country iiin...was it 1994? I don't even remember but it was sometime in the early - mid-90's. And they weren't even able to buy a new adress stamp in all those years? Amusing. But then again...none of those earthly matters are important to them, of course, since God knows where to find us all anyway. *snort*
I had a heavy outburst again yesterday. Basically, my Mom and me were just quarrelling a little because I don't think she's taking this serious enough. She goes in and says "I'm only doing two rounds of everything today" just so she'll be finished earlier which is just not the point. And also, she keeps complaining about "having to go there" and blah and making it seem like we're going there for my own amusement which is not the case. It wasn't even me who came up with the initial idea of going to a gym. So I told her that and, yeah, I was throwing a little tantrum. And she laughed at me which just hurled me over the edge. I got slightly hysterical and started crying and yelling and telling her that I am taking this fucking serious and that she had no idea how much I've been suffering back at school because of the way I look and all. Before I whirled around and ran to my room, I could actually see all colour vanishing from her face and her eyes nearly popping out of their sockets. That kind of shocked me a little. I mean, could it be that she really had no idea how much self-loathing I've gone through in my life? I always knew that she didn't exactly get me or anything that was going on inside me but it can't be news to her that I've never been...fine. I don't know if my outburst changed anything, though. I don't think so. I think she knows even less how to deal with me and maybe she won't laugh at me again when that subject comes up but we didn't...sit down and talk or anything. But still I think that for a really short moment, she actually got a glimpse of what's going on inside me. I'm just not sure if that's such a good thing...
Ok, enough self-pity for now. Good night.
Kathy
xx
So we skipped our first ever diet course to go out for dinner and get stuffed. Oh, the irony! But we went to our favourite Chinese restaurant. It's on the 16th floor of the highest building in our town (hey, this is not New York, alright?) and you get a nice view when it's dark outside. Well, as far as nice goes in this crappy town. The food was good, though I should have stuck with my usual habit of ordering something curry-ish.
My Mom insisted that we weren't "skipping" the course, though. We only "delayed" it by a week. You gotta ask her for the exact difference, though. I still don't get why we couldn't go to the gym today and out for dinner tomorrow but I guess there are things that aren't meant for me to understand. So we're going to the gym again tomorrow. I hope I'll be a little more motivated by then. Right now, I don't want to move at all. I just spent 5 minutes encouraging myself to get up from this chair to go to the loo. Not a good sign.
AFI - Salt For Your Wounds