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screaming silently
2003-05-22
tomorrow! yes, tomorrow everything will be fine again. though the last days haven't been all that bad. suddenly everyone decided to be overly sweet to me which was a bit scary because they were exactly the opposite of what they had been on monday. i was half expecting them to have some really evil plan involving me and my death.
whatever, i think i'll go to bed now. i have to get up at...7.30am then pack my bag, call in sick (both offices) go to the doctor, catch my train, survive five hours without using the toilet once...and that all with having all that excitement on my mind...
so...see you on sunday!
but anyway...now it's over. i had my last day today which felt strange. i wasn't allowed to tell anyone about it so i basically just left saying "bye. see you tomorrow" knowing i won't be back tomorrow. i feel a bit bad because yesterday melanie even asked what kind of presents i like and they want to give me something as a little good-bye. ok, i have to go back again anyway to get my results and everything. but still...it was a bit sad. nah, not sad. how could i be sad? i'm gonna see the fucking greatest band of the world tomorrow! the whole train trip annoys me already, though. i hate travelling. going by car is ok but i didn't wanna drive because i might have arrived very very late then. and i'm scared as fuck when i think of the doctor. i've never met her. she's taken over the place and our old doctor retired. the old one would have given me an attest no problem. mom said the new one's alright, too, but i dunno. i'm such a crap liar and i hope i can pull off my little show alright tomorrow. i plan on pretending to be embarrassed of having to go to the doctor for such a small thing because of my job, though, so if i blush she'll think it's because of that. oh please please please dear lord elvis let this work out ok-ish. you know i never ask for much and i'm one of the few people who don't go round saying you're alive and work in a small fast food restaurant in texas or so. yes, i'm aware that i am sounding silly and i wouldn't wonder too much if someone tracked me down through this site now to check me on drugs. but the mixture of excitement, fear, panic, anticipation and...frustration is too much for my poor brain.
oh well, i have to leave the living room as well (yes i'm using the pc...dunno why) cos my mom is watching stupid pointless political discussions which are even more stupid and pointless because their asking more or less well-known celebs for their opinion...
placebo - protect me from what i want