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good service - bad service

2005-04-22


is this too simple for a layout? compared to the old one, it probably is but i like it, so nerr. it's all about work which is pretty much what my life is like at the moment. i'm so obsessed with hating everything there that i forget about mostly everything else. so i thought "why not make it part of your diary, too?". and this is what i came up with.

i had a spontaneous day off today. for one reason or another we were asked whether we'd like to take a day off and i immediately took the chance because i'm having a really big low at the moment. i don't even know why on earth i thought this was a job for me. i'm not very good at dealing with people's moods and most of the time, i'm unable to figure out what people mean. and one negative comment can ruin my whole day. now i am forced to listen to people bitch at me for 8 hours a day. what on earth was i thinking??
the only good part is that this way, i am forced to stay focused. a big problem of mine has always been that i get carried away too easily. it just happens. give me five minutes and i'm daydreaming. or i start writing something. if i was working in another job, i'd probably have to tell myself to do this and that and concentrate on it. now i have customers calling every 10 seconds, so it's not easy to get into my "staring into space"-mood.

i feel a bit like a slacker. i wanted to make use of this day and actually think about what i'm going to do for a bit. whether i'm going to seriously start looking for something new and if so, what i want to look out for. then i wanted to sign up for all those job-hunting websites again. and maybe even start writing letters. but i did nothing. why? because i get some stuff i ordered in the mail today and it reminded me of how awesome it is to have and spend money and it made me think that maybe it's not so bad to stick with this job because it brings in some nice cash.

a part of me actually believes that i will get used to it. but i don't know...it's not like the different shifts annoy me or the actual work. i don't even feel like a complete idiot anymore. i know quite a lot by now and i work a lot faster than before. that's not the point. i know i will get used to the company, my boss, the people there... but i don't know whether i will ever get rid of my over-sensitive side. it's not only a job-related thing. i've been like this all my life. whenever someone i don't know very well uses a harsher tone on me, i get all upset. i've been trying to become tougher forever and it never worked. so i pretty much doubt that i will manage now. like, yesterday, some dude called me incompetent and hung up on me. now i actually laugh about it and i joked about it with annette earlier tonight. but when it happened, it pretty much left me devastated for an hour.

whatever. tomorrow's friday, which means there's only one 8 hour-shift til the weekend and then i'm going out with annette which will be lots of fun. i miss hanging out with her. she manages to cheer me up all the time as she's able to see something funny in almost everything.

i don't know why i'm so tired. i've done close to nothing today!


hunter revenge - out of town



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