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keep on rocking in the free world...or so...
2004-03-21
you only really know a person when you've gone through the first argument with them. this happened on friday between me and annette. i never noticed it until then but we've never had real arguments. be it because we never seriously disagreed about things or because nothing was important enough to defend your own opinion...it just never happened.
yesterday, i went to see another comedian with my mum. it was funny but not as good as his performance that we'd been to a few years ago. also, the audience just sucked. next to me was this really old guy that was pretty smelly. i can't even put my finger on what kind of smell it was. it smelled a bit like an old basement. and behind me there was this really fat guy (don't get me wrong...i'm not trying to sound superficial. as we all know, i'm not exactly slim myself but he was like...HUGE) and i don't know whether he was bitter or just generally an arsehole but he kept making really rude remarks about the comedian, the other people, his company...just everything. and he kept complaining about not being allowed to smoke or bring his beer with him. *rolls eyes* so yeah, i just wanted to kick him.
by the way...finally, i've written my last exam and i can concentrate on my other school. i'm way behind by now and i'm not sure if i'll ever catch up again. it scares me a bit because i really don't want to fuck this up. but on the other hand, i'm thinking about quitting it because maybe i was trying too hard for now. maybe it isn't possible to do it beside my apprenticeship and i'm not sure whether it's worth �123 per month if i'm not gonna make it or not get any really good grades, anyway. *sigh* someone please tell me what to do because i hate having to make decisions.
oh yeah, and because i've mentioned it everywhere else: i changed my msn ID, so if you were on my list or want to be on there, the new ID is [email protected]
so anyway...it was the good old problem: i was annoyed because they kept talking about their grades and whatnot. i wasn't even really annoyed, i just didn't want to talk about it, so i didn't. which pissed annette off. then we ended up not talking at all and her doing the pretty childish ignore-game. which i can't stand at all. you know what it's like...people turning away from you as soon as you open your mouth, people pretending you're not there. so yeah...during the last break, i decided that some action was needed and i just confronted them, telling them it was nothing personal, but i didn't wanna talk about grades and all, so i simply wouldn't. we yelled a little at each other and for some time, annette even kept her "i'm not talking to HER"-attitude. but yeah...soon she came back to her senses and everyone apologised and everything was fine again. more or less. for a while, i felt quite unsure of everything. we went to starbucks after school, and i was never fully sure if everything was ok again. after all, i came to the conclusion that it probably didn't mean as much to her as it did to me.
i guess it's just always that odd feeling after an argument. you see sides of people that you haven't seen before and you need to come to terms with it all.
billy idol - hot in the city