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diaryrings...friendship...it's all a pain in the arse, really...

2002-10-19


dammit. i just spent the whole evening checking the sites of the members of my diaryrings. you wouldn't believe how many just forgot to put the codes up or deleted them again or locked their diaries or whatever. now, i don't want to think they're all mean and deleted the codes just for the sake of it. i just think it would be cool if people would just quite a ring entirely when they decide they don't want to be a member anymore.
but i eventually finished it and now they all have 3 days time to get the code up. because i'm nice. or i like to think so. hehe.

on a lighter note...i talked to mariam yesterday and she's coming here on 15 november. that's a friday and we'll probably go to starbucks that evening and all. and the next day, we'll go to eindhoven to meet the "dutchies". i just asked tina and she said she might come, too. i'm really looking forward to it, tho i don't really *know* the people we're gonna meet. but then again, that's the cool thing about meet-ups, isn't it?
at least, november won't be boring. i mustn't forget to get travel catalogues that month, tho. we're planning to book our trip to malta then and i have to have my big holidays planned til 15 january anyway...

also, i was greeted by a *lovely* message from maja when i woke up (way too early!) this morning. apparently, she does not like my AM. so what? should i get rid of it so she gets no chance to leave a message at all?! i'm just really frustrated with that friendship at the moment. each time, we do talk we discuss and argue but it never seems to be getting anywhere. i think i mentioned this before but...yeah, the problem is that we have different images of a perfect friendship and we can't seem to find a compromise. my problem with this is that i can't seem to understand why everything has to be taken so serious anyway... i mean, why do there have to be rules for friendships and who makes them? and why is everything i don't do/say for her automatically against her?
and the frustrating thing is that i can't seem to get my point across. either, she'll get upset or i'll get fed up or whatever. mind you, i don't get her point, either. not as in i don't want to get it. i'm just lost. and i'm not very patient so i don't really want loooong explanations. and it's not even like i want to think like her. i want to understand her, yeah, but i like my opinion and i wanna keep it. and i also like my attitude. i just don't want to be accused of being a bitch for being me. well, ok, maybe i am a bitch but don't whine to me about that.
i think the most confusing thing about it all is...when we first met and all it was all very casual..a little chat here and there...exchange of some PMs and whatever. and it went on like that. just being really relaxed and stuff and i dunno how we could become friends when she dislikes that casuality so much... i don't like to think i changed that much during those years. so...where's the problem?

ack, anyway, i'm boring myself with my analyzations. and i'm knackered anyway. so i'm going to read my luffly book now and then move my butt to bed...


manic street preachers - stay beautiful



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