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without a sound
2005-09-16
so, what happened in the looong time i didn't write an entry? not too much. i might be unemployed by the end of the month but that's not really news and isn't even really getting to me anymore. by now, i wish they'd just kick me out so i can put that behind me now and go on. i'd be a little sad, though, because i'm starting to like the other aspects of the job. basically everything besides the selling stuff-thing. that's the only think i really seem to have a problem with and ironically, it's the only thing that really counts, too. bad luck, i suppose. i'm starting to get along with most people, too. or let's say i found a few others i get along with. i still have a huge dislike for the people mentioned in previous entries but having others to talk to/hang out with makes it easier to ignore them and just live my life without them. i had my first proper talk with my team leader the other day, too. we were talking all business and stuff and i surprised myself by being all grown-up and not "uh huh"-*blush*-*run away* so, i guess it would be kind of sad if they kicked me out now but i can't help it. unfortunately, the current tension at work also means that i don't really dare ask my team leader about taking a few days off. i wanted to take the first two days of september off because annette asked me whether i wanted to go to london with her. hell, of course i want to! but i think i'll ask her whether we should go on october/november anyway. i'd just feel too bad for going when we said we would. first of all, we would be leaving on my mum's 50th birthday. she said it's ok but c'mon, seriously, it would make me a huge bitch. then i would be in london over maja's birthday, too. most probably, i won't be able to visit her or vice versa on that day anyway but i'd still feel pooey for being in london then. and yeah, we'd get back on sunday evening and i can't take monday off. i would be dead and sad and depressed and all cry-ish at work then. and, of course, i simply don't dare ask. because the first of september will be the first day after my trial period which means i don't even know if i'm still working at my current company then and i don't really want to ask now which i would have to do since someone else might grab those days. ah, i dunno. it makes me feel so bad not to go. i was so motivated yesterday but the more i think about it, the more selfish it seems to me. i just hope annette's still up for it if i suggest going a little later. i'll call her tomorrow.
my chemical romance - drowning lessons