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How come you never ask me why?
2002-02-16
what a ROTTEN day! i hate everyone and everything right now. it's just...ARGH!!!! actually it was just another saturday. ok, as i said the painters came to our house today and did my room and it looks really great (kinda pinkish/violetish) but apart from that EVERYTHING's been going wrong ever since i got up today. my mom, of course, woke me up way too late. if the painters are supposed to get here at 10am it doesn't help me AT ALL to be woken up at 9.20am! how am i supposed to have breakfast, dress, do my make-up and wake up properly in only 40 minutes?
yes, i'm aware that i sound pretty pissed and probably also quite bitchy and unfair but i can't be arsed to care anymore. i've had enough. i just wanna get away from it all. if someone offered me a new life now i guess i'd take it without thinking.
that's it. i can't be arsed to write anything more now.
stay beautiful!
then it turned out that, OF COURSE, we hadn't got everything we needed so they sent me off to the DIY-store to get the missing things. and i couldn't use the bathroom so i couldn't wash nor remove, leave alone re-do yesterday's make-up. so i had to walk around with sunglasses all the time which pissed me off so much, i nearly hit some peeps in the street with my car (why do they have to walk on the street in the first place? can't they use the fucking sidewalk????)
after i got home everything got just worse and worse. not even particular things i could put my finger on but everything in general. i just wanna yell at everyone.
thing is, i don't think it's 100% my fault. some people around me (two in particular) really have to change their attitude. they seem to think they can get anywhere without taking other people serious at all which is pissing me off. when i say i want people to listen to my problems i don't mean sitting there listening while secretly (or sometimes not so secretly) thinking i'm an idiot. thanks, but in that case i'd rather not tell them anything at all. it all would be less annoying if they didn't expect me to take them serious all the time as well. i think i once mentioned here that i hate being accused of things by people who are making the same mistakes and this is a brilliant example. i don't see why i should listen to and think about the problems of people who don't take me serious at all. i don't know if they really think i'm insane or whatever but their behavior surely makes me think that. and it's not only like that with problems i have. it also seems like my opinion never really counts, my tastes are just silly and blablabla. such arrogant behavior is just so bloody irritating to me. i know i sometimes sound like that, too, and i'm trying bloody hard not to do so because it's just unfair.
plus it seems like those people are mad at me and i have no idea why. obviously the idea of communication seems strange to them. i am pretty sure they both will be reading this at some point and i hope they'll KNOW that i mean them (if they don't, everything's lost anyway *lol*) ok, i could go there and ask them what's wrong and blah but why would i do that? things are pretty sickening between us at the moment and if they think ignoring me and being all pretentious and stuff is the key to their happiness i won't be standing in the way.
even tho i know i'm incredibly stubborn now...i have enough other problems and i really don't need someone to move their problems over to me expecting me to solve them while treating me like a complete stranger.
:::liebling:::
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