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2004-12-15
this time i shall actually give a little update on my life. and brace yourself as it won't be pretty.
today was the second day at the new place and i hate it. the work isn't as bad as i remembered it. most of the customers are way nicer and more patient. but my co-workers simply suck. they're unfriendly, they ignore me and they seemed to hate me right from the first second they saw me. i don't know what i could have done wrong already? yeah, so i'm not exactly motivated and maybe i learn the new stuff a little slower than the others. but hey, i'm simply tired of it all. tired of never getting the job (training) that i want, tired of never getting credit for anything and tired of being fooled over and over again. so maybe it shows a little in the way i work but i try not to let it get in the way too much. really, i'm doing my best to not be in the way and all. but they're making it all unbearable for me. they're unfriendly, not only to me but also to our customers. i've been there for two days now and already i got to witness about ten cases of them simply snapping at customers who clearly didn't deserve it. as soon as they notice that a customer won't bring them any points in their stupid insider competition of who sells the most mobile contracts or DSL connections and whatever, they just try to get rid of them. i'm sorry but that's not the way I work. i'm an arrogant bitch, yeah. but i'm not that bad.
also, they're just making me feel like a loser all the time. whenever i ask something, i get only one sentence as an answer if anything. they hardly ever bother to explain something and when i try to look over their shoulders, it seems like they do everything extra-fast, so i can't even begin to understand what they are doing.
i just don't know what i'm doing there. they clearly don't want me there, nor do i want to be there but i don't know if it's worth the hassle to call my boss and tell her i don't wanna work there anymore and blah. after all, it's only about 6 weeks. i really don't know. i just know that i've never been that depressed only because of work. i never really liked any of the places i worked at but usually at least some of the co-workers were nice or something else was ok. now, however, everything just simply sucks big time. usually, i'd say "fuck them" and do my own thing. but if i do that and i make a mistake, i'm in trouble and i'll piss off quite a few customers, which i shouldn't care about but do.
also, for a few days already, i'm having awful cramps. i don't know what it is, i just know that i don't want to know, either.
on top of it all, maja and i are having issues again (as you might have guessed) and i now have to fact life without sex and the city. happy days!
my chemical romance - to the end