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we're used to look like we don't mind
2003-06-15
another of my dreams has just been crushed. i was told a few days ago that my grandpa would give me some money for my next car as well. and, as usual, that means i can start planning already because in about a year or so i'll need a new one. and lately, i've also been told that the cc version of my car DOES have backseats. so i just went looking around only to find out that there was no cc before 2002 and the first ones still cost around �16.000. so that'll be a big no-no because even in a year they'll be too expensive for me. this also kind of means i won't be getting a new car cos i wouldn't be able to choose one. i don't really like any other type of car at the moment. only mine and the cc version of it. well, and big stuff like audi tt and shit but that's so out of reach i needn't even think of it. and since getting the same car again sucks and i can't afford anything else, i'll just stick with this. end of story, i suppose.
yesterday was very stupid. since it was hot again and cinemas have A/C i went to see 'bruce almighty' with my mom. we went to the cinema at the mall and since last saturday most shops here are open until 8pm here. so we also went over to the shops to get some stuff i needed for school. but on our way over to the shops i nearly died of shock when i saw my dad's car. you can't really miss it as he has a huge VW bus with coca cola written on it (he works for them). and he was right there going into the same direction as us. i should have been all mature and kept on walking. maybe saying hi and then going on with my life. but that would have been too easy, right? so instead i stopped dead and turned around to walk around the big fountain in front of the mall again to give him time to go in. all the time dragging my mom along. the entrance area of the mall is a big circle of loads of different fast food restaurants with a chill out-area (aka loads of colourful chairs and tables and a mini-fountain) in the center. and because i just presumed he was there to work but i didn't know which restaurant he would be at, i dragged my mom right through the mass of chairs and tables to the other end of the mall, knocking over several people on my way. you can tell i was panicking like satan himself was right behind me. and i know that was terribly silly. i don't even know what i was so afraid of. i mean, he wouldn't even have made any stupid comments as my mom was with me. nor am i feeling guilty because most of the situation at the moment is his fault. i guess i was afraid of what it would be like. i have nothing to say to him. and what if he would have ignored me. maybe he does not want to see me again, either. that would have been awkward. so i'd rather avoid meeting him. but why do i feel so stupid doing that? *bangs head against wall*
tomorrow school starts again and i don't know how to go about it. in a way it's cool cos i'm usually home earlier. but i'm sure the situation in the class will be the same again. also, i don't really want to hear all that pointless crap again. so far nothing of what they taught us at school has been of any practical use for me. not to mention the crappy parking situation in front of the school. which i don't think has improved a lot. maybe i'll go by train this time. with all the cool music on my MD i don't even mind it that much. the only thing that annoys me are all the people on public transport in the morning. they are depressing. though i don't think many people will be on the train as early as me.
oh, i'll go study for my other school now.
slut - universal