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frustration
2002-05-15
i'm an annoying little shit, today. dunno why. actually, i am not in such a bad mood, anymore. but i just have to yell at everyone and everything. and also i have to tell everyone how much things suck and how i'm just not able to get what i want. which is true. i wanted to get a new cover for my mobile because my choice of 3 bores me. and they didn't have what i wanted. then, i wanted to buy a placebo video on ebay but it wasn't PAL format. and then, i wanted to buy a placebo CD but couldn't get the one i wanted anywhere. and i decided to go to a gig, soon but now, that i've made the decision no good bands are coming my way. so, i have a bank account with �107 or more and about �50 cash but nothing to spend it on. now, my mom would say i'm lucky because i have no way to waste it but still, it's not fair. it's frustrating. when i don't have money the world's full of things i wanna buy. now, there's nothing. and there's no need to save it since i'll get my big badass bank account next month.
i got a letter today telling me i am invited for another job interview on 27th may. this time, i won't be sad if they won't want me. it's in essen which is a shitty town near my shitty town. ok, actually it's even shittier than my town because it's just grey and dirty and fool of poor people and BAH! i don't wanna go there everyday for the next 2 or 3 years. PLUS i'd be working for a construction company which probably means the office building is grey and ugly and old. and i'll probably want to go home before i even get into the building, each morning. even the woman on the phone sounded grey and boring when i called in to tell her i'd come to the interview. quite depressing, if you ask me.
gawd, i even pissed sabrina off. and it is almost impossible to do that because she's always very kind and understanding and never pouts about anything or so. she sent me a text and i replied with a very short txt and also sounded pretty harsh. what can i say? it's hard to write an entry and txt your friend while you have nail varnish on your nails that still needs to dry. but i felt all sorry when she wrote back that she didn't want to disturb me. so i keep replying, now. she's about the only person who i just can't yell at or whatever. she's just ALWAYS nice. not in the suck-up kind of way but just...nice.
what else can i say? i skipped school, today. and slept til 2pm. and i didn't do anything else. well, nothing i could write down here. or...i could but it would be a waste of space and time (if you read it) i just sat around and thought and did useless stuff. ok, that is what i do everyday anyway.
stay beautiful!
right, this is a short entry because i gotta stop now because maja wants to call, soon. i'm not really fancying a big discussion now but oh well...
liebling
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