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Give a monkey half a brain, and still he's bound to fry it
2002-01-15
once again it's been a while. once again i haven't been busy. yet i wasn't feeling like writing something here. it doesn't make sense to me to write something when i've nothing to say. not that there was anything important coming from my mouth/fingers now anyway.
you know what i hate? hypocrites! i've made several experiences with them in the past few days and they're pissing me off. i keep getting into arguments with them but the problem is...you can't win. you know you're right but you can't win because they'll never give in anyway.
but as i said...i am happy and i wasn't gonna whine here now.
alright...i wanted to go to bed early tonight cos i didn't get much sleep lately. i promise my next entry will be a loooong one (ha, as if anyone would give a shit!)
stay beautiful!
i'm happy today. it seems like i really have a real life. my school mates and i decided to make a real girls' night the weekend after this. kinda pajama party. get pissed, have a good laugh, take some embarrassing pix of each other. yey! can't wait! it seems like we're really growing closer together and becoming real friends. which is cool.
on a not so happy note i have to say that i am disappointed because blink 182 finally cancelled their tour. i feel like they've fooled me. first they delayed the tour, then again...and now it's gone. that's especially crap cos now we have the trouble with returning the tix and all that shite. gawwd, how i hate that. especially because it's happened twice in less than 6 months. it must be me!
actually i've been in quite a few arguments lately. it worries me. i don't think it's my fault tho cos i've just stated my opinion. it always brings other people further when they speak their minds but when i do it it only seems to cause me trouble. i dunno why. what's wrong with me? there has to be something about me that makes people think i don't need to be respected. *whines*
yesterday i saw my 'darling' again. he walked past me and i finally saw his eyes. they're blue. so black hair and blue eyes. *dies* that makes my knees give in. 
btw...i am not talking about my online-crush but the one at my college. (gawwd, i have too many crushes!!!) but they're equally yum because they're so different and yet kinda the same. they're both of the type my friends would say is my type tho they have almost nothing in common. there's a certain thing about them that makes me sense the presence of that kinda guy through millions of others. they're like...you know...they just have their own style. not in the bloody trendy i-have-my-own-style-and-i-am-so-fucking-cool way. cos in the end they're all so alternative that they're the same already. both of them really don't seem to care about what others say or do. i think my college-baby is a little 'lonesome rider' cos i hardly see him talking to anyone...just texting away with his mobile. so i might actually have the guts to walk up to him one day but noooo, of course, my luck has to set in here now. tho he's never talking to anyone he's always in company. always surrounded by his course mates. i know this sounds weird cos then he'd obviously have to talk to them but it's true. (and i should know...i've spend ages watching him) he's just standing among the others but not talking or so. and even tho i am not even sure they know he's there they'd surealy notice me walking up to him and doing the usual chatting up rituals. but i guess i wouldn't do anything like that anyway. he doesn't seem like he even knows i exist or like he'd care if he would. i guess i don't mind too much. sure i'd luv to kiss, hug, fuck or marry him 
but then again i'd miss my little crush. that secret watching and talking him into the role of the perfect guy and shit. and completely overdoing it while talking to my friends about him. actually i'm not the kind that babbles about her crush for ages but i luv to do it just to annoy my friends. without meaning it that is. i don't really care that much about the way he walks. or if he's cut his hair. or whatever. but it's fun to make a real show of it. without him noticing, of course. tho i can hardly believe he hasn't noticed anything by now. *grins* so...yeah, i prefer keeping him my little not-so-secret crush.
:::liebling::: 
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