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Isn't it funny how it hurts

2006-03-14


It's really time for a new entry. Especially because I am so �ber-emotional today that I could feel seven journals with my ranting. And as usual, it's also national "Ignore Kathy" day. So I need to vent here.

Let's get the excessive fangirling out first: Oh my God! A new AFI single. Admittedly, "Miss Murder" doesn't sound appropriate as a title for the one thing I've made everything depend on in the past few weeks. But in a way, that's also a good thing. Because even the very first thing I hear about their new material surprises me and that has to be a good sign. As usual, I had a little emotional outburst. I found out about it at work. I haven't checked MySpace / afiseries at work ever since I started at the new place but today I decided to do it. I couldn't breathe and I couldn't wash the damn grin off my face and finally, I couldn't hold back. So I ran to the toilet (without meeting anyone...fortunately) and just had a little freak moment. Yes, I even shed some tears. I also cried a bit when I came home. Oh well. No real excuse and I don't think it would make sense to even look for one now.
I just needed to get this out without people giving me bored / annoyed /shocked reactions.

The other thing is..."Meds". Despite having outgrown my Placebo passion a little, I am so so so so glad the new doesn't disappoint me. I have to admit, there are some parts I don't like. But I really like it as a whole. I was scared they'd do a Manics-thing and release a really weak album that isn't them. "Meds" is so them.
But I cannot be all positive, you know that. So here's the little list of complaints:
I kind of wish they had taken a little more time with the album. It sounds unfinished in some parts. A lot of the lyrics seem like fillers. Also, the sound is a little too much like what we're already used to. A bit like they desperately wanted to do the whole promotion-tour-interview thing again, so they just went and did what they knew how to do to get a record out as soon as possible. Don't get me wrong. There are dozens of really awesome ideas. I just think that it could have been even more had they taken a few weeks longer to think things through and write more lyrics and try around a little more.
In some parts the songs remind me a little too much of other artists. "Space Monkey" sounds a lot like Marilyn Manson. And "Follow the Cops Back Home" reminds me of Slut. I like both so it's not necessarily bad. But it doesn't seem very Placebo-ish in the end.
But anyway...I still love this album way more than I should. And I guess I won't have a final opinion until I've seen the songs performed live about thirty times. So ask me again in a year.

So that was the music-related news. Job-wise, things are slowly getting better and worse at the same time. The good thing is that my boss has the late shift at the moment so he isn't around until noon. That means he's not around to talk me into going downstairs to hang with the techies. That's a huge advantage because it was really starting to affect me in a very bad way. Just sitting around feeling unwelcome and in the way is pretty much my worst nightmare. I'm getting along with my own team a lot better but my boss is a little creepy. He has the same name as my dad and also reminds me of him a little. I can't hold that against him, of course. But it still bothers me. I love my new colleague, B., a lot, though. He's funny in his own way and I actually feel like I can learn quite some shit from him. So I'm trying to stick to his side most of the time. I'm starting to feel uncomfortable now, though, because it's not an agreement we've had and I don't know if I should maybe go and hang with the others for a while. It's just that the choice is limited. There's R., my boss. And yeah...he's weird. Then there's D. who doesn't even seem to notice I am there. He's funny and all but I don't think he has the patience to actually explain stuff to me. And the last one in our team (except for one girl who's on holiday) is J. She's nice and lovely and all. But she seems to make a lot of mistakes and doesn't really know her shit very well. Bad choice for a "teacher", I suppose.
Another thing that bothers me is that there's a lot of little quarreling going on in the team. Mostly because of J. I admit, she's not being treated fairly most of the time but she's one of the people who can't let things go. It sucks being the new one who's kind of in the middle and also completely clueless about what exactly is going on. I don't even know why she is pissed at them or they are pissed at her and if others were involved. Apparently, some bad things must have happened because she already has a lawyer sorting things out for her. She said she didn't want to talk about it because he adviced her not to do so. Which is ok. But why try to talk to me about it if I'm not allowed to know details? Not that I even want to, of course. I just want to stay out of it all. Which doesn't seem to be possible. Hmpf. As if trying to get my head around all the horrible software shit we're working with wasn't bad enough!


Zeromancer - Famous Last Words



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