Home Archives Profile Book Notes Mail Cast Misc Rings Host



...and it happened on a tuesday.

2004-01-13


i feel...i feel strange. slightly scared. and definitely confused. things seem to be slipping from my hands and i can't stop them from doing so. it's like in one of those dreams where something bad happens and you think if you do this or that, maybe it will stop. so you do what you think is right and it only results in the same bad things happening. and then you do something else and the bad things just continue happening and no matter what you do, it will only get worse and worse until...you wake up screaming and sweating and shaking. but i have a feeling this won't happen to me this time. yet, i still can't do anything because whatever i might try is wrong anyway.

i fucked things up with maja, i notice how i grow more and more distant from other friends, i get nothing done properly...it's really twisted.

in other and possibly happier news i got my stuff from torrid yesterday and it's all so beautiful. i got some shirts and an absolutely funky belt. one of those thick leather belts with three rows of studs. it's really heavy but also totally awesome.

i also noticed how talking to "new" placebo fans annoys me sometimes. i'm sure i'm gonna get it for saying this but i can't help it. it's just...when you discover a band that is new to you and you've recently fallen in love with it, everything seems so special to you and the smallest little bit can excite you. and at some point, that certain sparkle just gets lost and , though you're still very much in love with the band, you see them as what they are...a band. you love the music and you're having the best time ever at their gigs and you will never be able to understand how other people manage not to be totally and utterly in love with them but still you're more realistic about it all. well, and right now, i am like that and some friends are like the "newbie" fan version and...dunno, they're just always like "oh my god, look at this. oh my god, brian said... oh my god, isn't stef..." and i go like "yeah..." cos i've heard and *said* all of those things before and it's old news and we're just not talking on the same level which i know sounds arrogant, though it's not meant to. it's just that i don't always want to hear how god-like the guys are and they don't always want to hear how human they are. *sigh*

anyway, i think i'll go play sims now. or study. or watch a dvd. or sleep. or die.


fountains of wayne - stacy's mom



Previous - Next