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geek pride
2004-01-11
ha! i'm so clever. i finished 2 homework assignments this week. and i got a book today so i can finish a third, soon. ok, i admit, i was cheating more than i should have but i really really need to hurry and after all, there weren't any highly important things. i wish i wasn't such a slacker.
in other news i had a dream about my ex last night. which is weird. it's been quite some time since i was with him and even shortly after we broke up, i never really...uh...let's say felt addicted enough to dream about him. and after about 2 or 3 weeks, i didn't even think of him anymore. i haven't heard anything from him in months, either, and i can't remember ever wishing i would. so it's really weird that i suddenly dream of him. it was also a very strong dream. or let's say...he wasn't just *there*. like sometimes you dream about things and you walk past people you once knew or something is happening and a band you like is playing in the background but they're not an actual part of the story that's happening. my dream was mostly about him. he was the main character, so to say. which makes me wonder what it means. does it just mean that, subconsciously, i want to be in a relationship again. or did i see or hear something that was related to him but didn't really notice consciously? i don't know...it feels weird, though. in the dream, i felt myself falling in love with him. but i can't even remember really being in love with him when we were together. i don't think i was. i even cheated on him. not even because the other guy was so sexy or because i liked the excitement. i just did it because...it was happening and i didn't feel the urge to stop it. just like "yeah, i have a boyfriend, so what?". so why was i feeling so strongly about him in my dream? i really really wanted to be with him again. now, when i think about him i don't even see why i would feel like that. being with someone like him doesn't seem very exciting to me. he's not a bad guy and i don't want it to sound like he is. he's just not the right person for *me*. he's too...nice. he could never talk back. he'd get upset whenever i made a slightly evil comment. other people would just say something equally nasty back. he could never do that. so yeah...definitely not the right one. i have to admit...the dream startled me a little. i don't feel desperate about being single and i really don't want to become like that, either.
i went to get a new folder for school today and my mom accompanied me since she wanted to look for a new pair of jeans. it was weird because we were getting along perfectly. i do loads of things with my mom but usually we end up pissing each other off. i can't find what i want and people are always in my way and she just wants to go home and keeps complaining. but today nothing like that happened. she got her jeans and i even managed to show interest and tell her which pair i liked. and then she offered to pay for my folders and the other stuff i had to get. and she even paid for some new cool decorations stuff i got for my room which really cost a fortune. but now i have this really funky glass plate and colourful sand to put my new strawberry-scented tea lights on. doesn't that rock?
i'm worried about myself. i suddenly seem to find the horrible people in my class funny! really, i haven't rolled my eyes once ever since school started again. i think they're also not hating us at much as they used to. what's wrong with us? we aren't getting...NICE, are we? ick!
savage garden - break me shake me