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just kill me, it saves time and energy

2004-04-09


this week something utterly scary happened: i felt happy. i was sitting in a meeting at work, our boss was talking, i was staring out of the window and suddenly i thought "damn, i'm happy". it was so strange. because there was no "because". i wasn't happy because i had bought something pretty or because i'm getting my car soon or because i'm going to see one of my fave bands. i was just...happy. this must be what most of the people feel like most of the time. it's probably the way i should be feeling all the time, too. strangely enough, i am not. as of now i don't have much reason, either. things at work are going wrong all the time. if i may remind you of me getting another warning for being late for work. and yes, that was a horrible thing but i got over it and i promised myself not to be late again and getting a grip of myself and all. but what it comes down to is this: i did something wrong and that was my punishment, right? ok, so that seems logical enough. not for my boss, though. this week, the last records of our presence at school arrived (apparently, they only send them at the end of each month or something). which means all my missed hours (though it was only 30 minutes in total or something) of the last week at school arrived, too. problem is: the last meeting/warning was AFTER that week but they didn't have the times then. so...the question is: will they be included in the last warning or will there be another warning? my boss said she has to talk to her boss. i say it's all total nonsense because if they had known the times then, they would have been included and it's not my fault that they weren't. and after that warning, i wasn't late once or anything. so yeah...now me and another girl are waiting for them to decide. i don't know what to think. basically, i'm wondering whether i'm gonna quit the job if i get the last warning. because if that's the case i only need to be late ONCE (and 1 minute will be enough= for them to fire me. how is a normal person gonna keep this up til november? so basically i'd be out with one leg already. and if my CV says something about me quitting, i can always tell future bosses that i quit because of...whatever reason. it certainly looks better than being fired.
i'm fairly gutted because now i don't even need to do anything wrong for them to start harrassing me.

i burnt a load of CDs for mariam today and damn, it's fun. i won this...CD-label printer thingie this week and it's really quite helpful. i don't know whether i'm gonna keep it, though. have to check the prices for those ink cartridges first.

other than that, i've really not done much. i went out for lunch/dinner (dunch?) with annette yesterday. shockingly, we went to a REAL italian restaurant instead of mcdonalds or burger king. it was cool. we had a nice talk (slightly disgusting, though) and i had some really really awesome pasta with broccoli. yes, i re-discovered my love for broccoli. how could i ever forget about it? last week i had broccoli with sauce hollandaise and melted cheese and this week i had that broccoli pasta and again with sauce hollandaise. i'm getting addicted. <3

actually, i'm so bored that i'm thinking about making me a new template. but i dunno...maybe i should make use of this boredom and study a little more. hmm...


andreas johnson - shine



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