Home
Archives
Profile
Book
Notes
Mail
Cast
Misc
Rings
Host
no time for a proper description
2005-01-09
by now i am bored to tears. my buddy list is full of people and they're all away or busy or whatever. yeah, i don't care. just go do...things. i don't need to be entertained.
today was a sunday (no, really), which is boring enough. but i had plans. great plans. i wanted to write appliance letters, work on some templates and do the beauty thing. what did i do? nothing. why? because of some stupid guilt/self-pity thing. i noticed that i had forgotten to check when i need to be at work on monday. and i was too much of a chicken to call in because i have done that quite a few times already. so i worked out this "clever" plan. i will show up a few minutes past 9 and sneak a glance at the time table. if my shift was 9-5, i will apologize and say i was stuck in traffic or something. if my shift was 10-6 or 10.30-6.30, i'll say i got through surprisingly well and just sit down and have breakfast. in any case, this will require a lot of acting from my side which i suck at and i know i'll break down and confess everything and then i'll feel all stupid again because i'm so unorganized and the thought of this ruined my weekend and any bit of motivation to do SOMETHING.
sorry, but it shouldn't be news to you, my dear readers, that small things like that can get me down. it's not even that i'll be in trouble. i think i won't. they will give me funny looks and that is that. but i just hate myself for being like that. i can never be on time, i can never keep my things in place, i can never keep track of what i need to do and have done and blah.
and why the hell am i watching "sleepless in seattle"? i hate films like that. i mean, "star trek" is more real than that. everything is so fake about that film. they sat down to watch a film with a bowl of popcorn. why do they always do that on tv? i've never done that. i watch films at home and sometimes i eat popcorn at home. sometimes i also do both things at once. but i never sit down to do both.
also, they never seem to have any real problems on tv. they all seem to have decent jobs and homes and families, but they never seem to care about or for either. they have enough time to spend the whole day dealing with silly lovey-dovey stuff. that is...GAH!
can you tell i am in a pissy mood? no? well, i am in a pissy mood. there, now you know.
only 2 weeks to go. and you know what? even now i feel like i'm never gonna make it through them. i think those two weeks will be the worst two weeks of my life. in the next 2 days, i will jump into every puddle i can find and i will walk around almost naked. because i want at least a little cold that will give me a reason to stay home for 2 or 3 days.
on thursday, however, i finally have an appointment with my career service dude. i can't believe he called. oh my god. i still need to tell my boss that he has to let me go earlier on that day, though. i'm almost thinking about taking the whole day off and work on saturday instead. it sounds like a crap idea but think about it: the shop's only open from 9-2.30 then, so that would be less hours than on a regular day. i will have to talk to the boss-man about it.
... - ...