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a thousand reasons why we never ever feel
2005-05-08
i'm feeling sort of...blah today. i'm still worried about my mum but by now i am also majorly pissed off. i'm trying to tell myself that i don't care if this kills her because it's her own fault. but not even [b]i[/b] can believe that. it still annoys me that she is so stubborn, though.
i'm also irritated because i have to work one hour longer on monday, tuesday and wednesday. and i don't even know why. having to stay at work longer isn't a problem for me as long as it can be justified and i can see that my work is needed. but when i know in advance that i will be staying longer, it's really a sort of downer to me. this week really is a bit of a come-down. the last week was relaxing to say the least but this week will just suck. and i can't even take a day off or anything. or call in sick. which i haven't really thought of doing ever since i started working there. it makes me feel kind of mature. when i was at school, i would stay home sick at least once a week. in fact, "do i stay in bed today?" was my first thought in the morning. now i just get up without so much as a moan. it's scary.
i think i will go back to the whole "study at home"-thing again i quit about a year ago. i was told i can start where i left off. and now i could also afford it. and with all the time between calls at work, it should be no problem to finish at least two homeworks a week. the problem is that i must stay focused this time. but i don't know what else to do. my current school degree is just average and it won't get me anywhere decent.
whatever...i'm gonna go look for a new job now.
and it also annoys me that i selfishly feel like she's being rude towards me. i keep thinking that she's ruining my weekend with this. which is true but i think i should forget about that in order to be able to concentrate on being worried.
slut - time is not a remedy