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get lost, get lose
2005-03-06
i feel so lost now. today, i received an email from someone i hadn't talked to in quite some time and they were telling me really bad things. not of the kind that will affect me or my life and change things but something that makes me feel all helpless and lost. and guilty for not keeping in touch. i feel like that quite often around people. i'm just not able to keep in touch with everyone all the time. i don't know how other people manage but i don't. but things like that really make me feel bad.
i'm glad it's monday in five minutes. after a week of work, i didn't even know what to do with myself over the weekend. so i just didn't do anything. except wanting to go back to work. the getting up early and hanging out at that place still bothers me and it's still what i like least about any kind of work or school or whatever other duties people may have. but i can't wait to be taught more about my future work. like, to be shown the new programs and be given my work email and everything.
i'm also wondering whether maja survived yesterday's adventure of letting a cyber-dude visit her. i might call her tomorrow, though i bet annette's gonna call back in the evening and keep me occupied with rants about her current and my ex-company. i know i'm her friend and i have to feel bad for her when things are going wrong but on the other hand, it feels good to know that i ditched the possibility of the same fate to find a happier place.
other than that, i have to goddamned chicken song stuck in my head. nooo, it has to stop!!!
i don't really want to write any details here because i think that person doesn't even know this diary exists. and if they do, they probably don't care and don't want their name to be mentioned here. or...actually, it's not about that at all. i don't think there would be a problem with me writing it down here as i won't even mention their name. i just don't think it would be right to write any details. also for my own sake because i have no idea how to deal with it. i'm not very good with social situations anyway and when it comes to someone feeling bad, i'm usually lost.
the cure - mint car