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hello there.

2004-04-04


meh. i got up before 11 today. on a sunday! what's wrong with me. lately, i'm not really able to sleep in anymore. probably because i get up so early during the week. today, however, i had to drag my butt out of bed so early because my window was open and a storm was coming up outside, so i decided it was better to save my posters from being blown off the walls.

i called mariam last night because it was her birthday. we had a pretty decent talk. once again, i realised that i have to call her more often. it's so fucked with me. each time, i think about calling someone, the thought is enough to bore me to death because i had making phone calls. but when i do it, i'm usually pleasantly surprised because the conversation's cool.
anyway, we promised to burn loads of CDs for each other, so i should really get down to it some time soon. but i realised i might have enough CDs to burn but i must go and buy cases for them cos i only have like...3 left or something. go, me...

also, mich has talked me into getting a webcam. so i might get one sometime soon. i'm just not sure what i want, yet. do i just buy a cheap one, since it's mainly people bugging me to get one or do i get a fairly good one, so at least i can use it properly? it's strange. i remember that like...2 years ago i was totally addicted to webcams and i desperately wanted one and also got one. now, however, it's broken and the thought of having one again leaves me a little paranoid, to be honest. probably, i'll be constantly dressed up like a barbie doll out of fear of people seeing me all messy...

does anyone else keep thinking about things they want to do but actually never get around to do them? i still have to write a letter to a girl from the placebo forum and i have to study and i've wanted to play simpsons hit&run for aaaaggges. instead, i keep doing other things spontaneously.
like yesterday...after calling mariam, i found myself sitting on the floor of my bedroom and i started to feel a little lonely. or...not really lonely but it was strange. we had been talking for a few hours and then we hung up and the tv was mute, there was no music playing and her voice wasn't there anymore, either, so it was all quiet in my room and silence coming suddenly usually leaves me feeling awkward. just like it did then. so, i just put a sex and the city dvd in and watched it, all the time sitting on the floor, hugging a bedpost. sometimes i scare myself with the things i do...
it was a nice thing, though. kind of one of the quiet moments that you wish will never end, yet once they have ended, you won't be able to get them back or repeat them or anything.

i also talked to remco yesterday and we both agreed that it would be cool if our online friends or friends who live further away lived near our homes. it just sucks sitting at home all the time because everyone you know lives a bit further away.
though...it's just another thing that sucks in my life...


jet - are you gonna be my girl?



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