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real life is what happens on tv
2002-04-04
this is gonna be a completely random entry once again. simply because i have nothing interesting to say.
stay beautiful!
the only reason for me to update this diary as regularly as i do is that i have nothing else to do (every me and every you 
) the day today has been pretty much like i described my usual holidays day in my last entry.
don't brainless people piss you off? don't gurls who think they were only born to please boys piss you off? i mean, i've just been invited to a chat on msn and i didn't know the people at all. ok, one of the chicks is on my msn list but it's full of people i don't know. so i dunno her, either. it's one of the contacts that are basically ignored when i see them online. you know, the kind you added some few months ago but, as you then noticed, has nothing in common with you and every kind of contact usually ends in a deadly humiliating exchange of smilies. euw...
but...uhm...i'm getting a little carried away here. so, this chat... i suddenly got in there and was completely ignored (i won't even waste my time wondering i they invited me in the first place). and then there was this guy and said girl and she was like, soooo silly. i swear, if it had been a RL talk she would have giggled aaaalll the time. i mean, she was just this close to giving head to the guy. i hate stuff like that. people who seem to think the opposite thing is the only thing in the world that matters. and especially when they seem to think that the dumber you pretend to be the more interesting you seem to them. i mean, hellooooo, 'dumb fucks well', yeah, but why the hell do they complain that noone's ever seriously interested in them? see, if the most intelligent thing ever coming from your lips is the 'ooohhh' you make when he 'parks his car in your garage', he won't even start having a conversation, leave alone a relationship with you. and it's not like anyone needed to be told that. it's so obvious. even without examples or anything. it's like...a logic thing. like seeing that an orange isn't a pineapple. but noooo, still millions of girls (and possibly guys, too) try to be as dumb as possible. and don't say 'but the people who take advantage of them are the bad ones' cos they're NOT! you can't punish a lion for coming to get its prey. and they never promise anything.
gawwd, i'm sounding like a preacher. but it was just...annoying me so much just now.
and you know what's even worse? i just missed over an hour of trainspotting. i've never seen the whole film. only parts. and now i didn't even know it was on. if i hadn't been zapping around and accidentally seen ewan mcgregor's face, i would have missed it AGAIN! well, i have...the beginning, that is. pah! 
i just thought of something that actually does have a deeper meaning. do you actually ever feel that you're getting older? not the 'oh, i'm getting wrinkles'-getting older. i mean...how you get wiser. like, a few months ago still, i read books or lyrics and thought 'whoa, that sounds brilliant' and i was really impressed by what people wrote but could never quite...feel it. you know, i just never exactly knew what they were on about. now, suddenly, i often feel like i finally understand it. i can't think of any concrete examples now. it's just that nowadays i am often able to feel, what a songwriter felt when he wrote a song. sometimes, it happens while i'm listening to it or reading the book or something and sometimes i'm just in a situation that reminds me of them. i wonder what that means? am i just getting more mature? or wiser? or just more depressive? or actually...it would be enough to know if this change is positive or negative. but then again, is there anything that's only positive or only negative? i think everything in the world can be looked at from different angles and that's what makes things so difficult. there you go...i'm preaching again. what the hell is wrong with me today? i better go now. i wanna watch the film.
:::liebling::: 
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