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single + happy = impossible?
2003-02-02
no, i won't start this entry with my usual 'i hate sundays' rant. infact the day hadn't been so bad. ok, the morning was a little shocking. last night i watched the next round of 'deutschland sucht den superstar' and, of course, daniel got through. but his best friend was voted out and he had a little nervous breakdown. and he was actually the first thing i thought of when i woke up. that's really pretty scary. i mean, i like him and i think he's awesome but that goes a little far. but he seems to be alright. his 'fanclub' sent an email out today and told everyone. though they annoy me a little. they're a bit like 'oooh, look at us. we know him so well' blabla. i don't pay much attention to what they say and all because it only pisses me off. i don't think it's very professional to go round and show off that much...
anyway, we went to get mom's car some gasoline today because i'm gonna use it tomorrow. and i also bought some food from burger king. i'm really turning into a fast food junkie. ok, it kind of ruins every little bit of losing some weight but then again...if i'm ever gonna move out it surely will help if i'm used to fast food by then.
am i the only one who doesn't care about that damn shuttle? sorry but i really don't. i mean, ok, they died, that's sad but so what? people die everyday and those astronauts actually *knew* what they were doing was dangerous while others just get killed on their way to work or something. and where's the point in talking about it 24/7 on telly? and how does it make it any worse that there was someone from israel in there? does nationality really matter that much? i dunno, i just think people should stop creating such big hypes about everything. that kind of prevents everyone from getting a decent point of view on things because certain opinions are forced on everyone. like with the war in irak. first we all had to think "oh, saddam hussein is evil. we have to fight against him." and now we have to think "bush is bad. we mustn't work together with him." and noone's allowed to have their own opinion or look at the subject from both sides. that really bothers me...
basically, i spent the whole day *thinking* about studying a bit because there'll be an exam tomorrow. but i can't even be bothered to check which subject it'll be. i only know that we'll have an exam everyday this week, except from thursday. yes, i am not really taking this serious. but how could i? it doesn't seem like school at all. the teachers don't really care wether you pay attention or not. some don't even notice you're there. they don't care what they're teacher, either. they just read out what's written in their books and we're supposed to write something in our notes...
and another thing pisses me off at the moment. maybe i've watched too much 'sex and the city' but have you noticed how singles are treated everywhere? non-singles look down on us and pity us. and i don't know how often i get asked stuff like "don't you want a partner?" or "don't you miss sex?" hell, as if either of that was *their* problem. can't a girl be happy without being in a relationship? ok, it is a few years ago since i had a boyfriend but i can't really say i missed it much. i don't need it like others seem to do. it was like having fancy technical stuff. if you have it, it's nice and all but you can survive without it and you needn't sit in the corner and weep all day, either.
some internet sites even want you to pay for them to find the *perfect* partner for you. where's the point in that? i mean, if you need to pay for such services, wouldn't make more sense to come to terms with your own insecurities before going and and bringing another possible problem into your life? this might sound bitter but i think i'm more realistic. i refuse to believe i have to have a partner to be happy...and it seems i'm pretty much alone with that opinion. :(
pale - goodbye trouble