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you've got to tolerate all those people that you hate

2002-04-01

people like heather nova shouldn't be allowed to make music. or at least they shouldn't be allowed to play it to other people. she plays in the same league as bj�rk and i think i already mentioned how much i dislike bj�rk. ok, maybe heather nova isn't THAT bad. i think comparing her to bj�rk is a huge insult. seriously, bk�rk's just...disgusting. have you seen that new video? dunno what it's called but there are red strings coming out of her nipples and stuff. euw...
ooohhh, you know what i hate? people who copy their fave artists. and you know what i hate even more? people who think YOU have to copy YOUR fave artists, too. there are people who really think i like bj�rk...just because placebo once said in an interview that they went to see her in concert. so what? brian molko also said he likes to drink vinegar out of the bottle. and you wouldn't even see me near that stuff. what's the point about copying someone anyway? you do and say and eat and like a whole shitload of things just because someone else does and says and eats and likes them and you think that's what makes them cool. but it's not. what makes them cool is that they have their own tastes, beliefs and ideas. if you have the same tastes, beliefs and ideas and they're really yours and you stick to them because you really believe in them, then you're cool, too. but if you go like 'brian molko says...' all the time you're just silly. am i actually making sense here? or do i even have a point? i dunno. i wasn't intending to write anything like that at all. in fact, i wasn't intending to write anything. i was just bored and decided to add a new entry and tell you how much i dislike heather nova because she's just on telly and i want jimmy eat world and eskobar to be on again. and then i had to think of bj�rk and brought her up, too. and that made me think of the person who asked me about bj�rk and placebo. and that somehow brought my anger about that person and all those silly trendy copy kids out there up again, so i wrote that shit. somehow, this entry isn't going anywhere. because i have no plans for it. it's very random, really. usually, i spend the day doing something and while i'm doing it, i already, mentally, make a little list about the things i am going to write here. this time, as i said, i wasn't planning to write an entry. so i have no idea, what to say.
i feel a bit like a singer or comedian who's up on stage with this big crowd in front of them. and they're waiting for the next thing and i just can't seem to remember it or think of something or anything. my mind's completely empty. and you (the crowd) are looking at me and getting fairly impatient. and i'm feeling more and more uncomfortable. so i'm babbling away like an idiot. STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT, DAMMIT! I CAN'T THINK WHILE YOU'RE DOING THAT!
let's see...what did i do, today? well, nothing. it was a holiday, so what should i have done? ok, i went to the trainstation and bought catfood, some mags and a new lipstick. does that count?
and i called my dad but only my stepmother (the old nasty bitch) answered the phone. so i talked to her for a total time of 2mins34secs. she told me that she has to go to hospital again next week. after (silently) partying my arse off about this news, i (also silently) wondered why the hell she's doing that? i mean, as long as i know her (about 15 years or so) she's been telling me how her back's completely 'broken' and how it can't be cured anymore and stuff. yet, she spends about 2 months a year in hospital, doing this and that and afterwards always tells me how useless it was and how it all isn't more than a waste of time and money. so why bother? it can't be THAT bad anyway, cos she always manages to torture half the family with her 'bla here, bla there' stuff. and she keeps carrying her grandchildren around. and she's into gardening. if her back was as bad as she wants to make us believe, she would have died of pain, already. it just pisses me off how she has to whine about it all the time but doesn't accept any of MY problems and shit. not that she had to and that i needed her to do that. she's not my mother and not a person i respect, either. i don't care what she thinks about me. but i don't want her to comment on everything i say and do, either. if she doesn't have anything positive to say (which i don't care about much, anyway), she can just keep her bloody mouth shut, can't she?
see? i start with nothing and actually still write half a novel about completely unimportant things like my stepmother.
GAWD, heather nova is seriously starting to piss me off. it wouldn't be THAT bad but they're showing her whole gig and she seems to be one of the ppl who play for ages. she's giving me a headache. but i know that, if i switched channels now, she'd immediately stop playing and they'd show jimmy eat world or eskobar. damn! i could fool them. i could switch channels and immediately switch back. but nah...it's a stupid thing to think i could fool a huge badass awful music conspiracy like them. they'd probably punish me with bj�rk (there she is again...her video's really caused a huge trauma with me)
another band that's pissed me off a lot today would be lifehouse. they're not THAT bad. their music is quite alright. but the singer's awful, isn't he? in the beginning, when i had just seen pix of the band, i thought they were a boyband. which wasn't that silly, i mean...lifehouse - westlife...oh well... the guy, however, seriously thinks he's god's gift to the women, doesn't he? and has anyone ever seen him smile? i mean, people say creed take everything too serious but they surely don't know lifehouse!
bloody hell, what am i coming to? i'm sinking lower and lower. now, i'm already slagging off various bands/artists in my diary. i think it's time to say that i don't mean to offend anyone with my opinion. seriously. it's really just my opinion and if i say bad things like i just did it's just because those artists were really pissing me off right then. it's not like i'm a psycho who spents her whole life thinking how much she wants to kill certain artists (nope, i spend my whole life thinking how much i wanna shag placebo ) i'm not saying you're a bad person if you like those artists, either. usually, i'm a really peaceful and calm ickle darling. and i mean, if you read stuff like that here, blame boredom. if i wasn't so bored, i wouldn't be watching a heather nova concert or bj�rk videos or anything by and about the people i dislike. and then i wouldn't have to write about them here, either. so...hmm...what am i actually gonna say now? what's the point? who do i want you to blame now? i dunno. ok, so probably i am the one to blame, anyway. it's not fair to write, say or even think such things about people i don't know. but, hey, no, that's not quite right. i'm not saying they're bad people. i'm just saying their work is crap. but then again, people who produce shit like that and actually go out and torture the world with it can't be nice people, can they? oops, see, another bad thing coming from me. damn! damn! damn! i was actually apologizing. i was really trying hard. instead, i'm turning myself in even further. boy, that sucks. so, to make it short: please note that i'm not trying to offend anyone.
btw...don't even think about signing my g*book or e-mailing/PMing me now and telling me how terrible placebo are. or, well, do it if you have to. but i wouldn't bother if i were you. cos i don't give a flaming fuck. seriously. i've met a whole shitload of people who really think placebo are crap and who had some real nasty things to say about them. i've stopped caring. it's all a matter of taste anyway. plus 80% of the arguments i've heard were against brian molko wearing skirts and make-up which is like SO old and silly by now. so, hmm...if you really feel a strong urge to insult placebo to punish me for being so mean to your fave artists, either make it tasteful and bring up some serious reasons or think of new pointless nasty things to say about them. i'm giving a few hints now: a) stefan olsdal is gay b) brian molko's voice sounds (or used to sound) like mickey mouse c) stev hewitt seems to be married to his pinstripe suits. you can either use one reason of those or make up your own. whatever...
wow, this is *really* getting more and more pointless. i thought of deleting the whole last part about placebo. because, seriously, isn't it just a cheap excuse for mentioning them as much as possible? it probably is. but, hey, this has good chances to become the longest entry in the history of this diary.
i just forced myself to look at the tv screen and boy, am i happy that i didn't go there. no, i didn't wanna go to see heather nove, but it is kinda mini-easter-festival and as i said, jimmy eat world and eskobar were playing, too. but it's broadcasted on telly and they're constantly showing the crowd. and they all look soooo stupid. i don't think they're as silly as they seem. i would have looked like that, too. that's because you go there and wanna enjoy the bands you like and then those bastards are coming around with their cameras and you're just completely dumbfucked. isn't that a sort of rape? i don't think those ppl have been asked if they wanted their faces to appear on telly. ok, they could have guessed it and agreed to it when they bought the tickets. yeah, probably... but i'm still glad i didn't go. especially because i didn't have to survive the sets of the bands/artists i don't like. (bj�rk wasn't there, btw. just for your information )
oh, btw, i just thought of something: you don't need to tell me that heather nova did a song with eskobar. i know that. and it's not a fact i'm happy about. the song's ok, tho. which only proves my theory that she's not as bad as bj�rk.
hmm...are flaked oats actually some kind of a mind-altering drug? i bought some for my rabbit today and ever since he ate them he seems weird. he's hopping around and constantly hitting his head on the ceiling of his cage but doesn't seem to mind. and he's throwing himself into his hay and rolling around like a dog. i've never seen him do that before. not that i was seriously worried. he's always been weird, anyway. it's just that usually his weird-ness goes into another direction. maybe he's just decided to change his life? who said rabbits weren't able to take life-changing decisions? maybe, if we didn't lock them up in their cages, they'd go out and buy magazines and books to learn how to improve their lives by buying new clothes, furniture and shit. and maybe they'd go to those weird workshops, too? kamasutra and tai-chi and stuff. who knows?
yeah, i know, i'm really talking weird crap here, now. it's just that i have to keep myself awake and amused. see, i was really looking forward to watching that JEW/eskobar thingie and i'm not letting that bitch ruin it for me (even tho she's really trying hard and also being quite successful with it)
hell, i can't believe i just talked to her through the telly screen. she was like 'i'm gonna introduce my band to you now' and i went 'oh please, noone even wants to know who YOU are' i think, i might be turning into a worse sicko with every minute that i'm staying awake.
OMG OMG OMG she's finished! she's finished! *throws glitter and opens the champagne bottle*
hmm...i just looked at the tv screen and i think i recognised a few ppl. i know that some people i know are there. i dunno if it was really them, though. i don't really care, either. it doesn't matter, either. oh well...
ok, since eskobar are on now and JEW will be on right after that, i'm gonna come to an end here now. i hope you enjoyed wasting my time together with me. i hope you were as bored while reading this as i was while writing this. tut tut...again something really mean and unfair coming from my typing fingers. i promise i'll try to be nicer and i'll also try not to use as many swear words anymore. note: i said i'd TRY which doesn't mean i'll succeed.
anyway, that was it, i promise!

stay beautiful!
:::liebling:::

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